Traditionally my wife and I have had an arrangement when it comes to shopping which sees her at the shops walking up and down each aisle and me staying home.

My only value is to push the trolley behind, staring aimlessly into the distance pretending I am enjoying it.

And even then I apparently don’t steer the trolley properly.

Over the last few weeks I have had to face my fears and go food shopping – on my own.

Two weeks ago on the fruit and vegetable run I grabbed some pre-packed stuff.

To me it was all too easy – find what I want and throw it in the trolley.

Apparently my wife doesn’t like it that way and last week I had to join the scrum, dive in and pick out each item individually.

It didn’t seem too hard - until I had to pulled off one of the plastic bags at the end of each stand.

Then I spent the next couple of minutes trying to open the bag to put some apples in.

I ran my fingers up and down it, waiting, hoping and almost praying that the slippery plastic would miraculously open at the end.

I was starting think it was a trick bag but after watching more experienced shoppers doing it, I kept trying.

It all seems to be in the technique.

One woman ran the plastic between her index finger and thumb and it opened immediately.

After that didn’t work I tried the blow technique after watching another woman blow air onto the bag to open it up.

Several failed attempts later I gave up on that and the pre-packed option was looking much better.

Eventually all these bags were opened and filled with fresh fruit and vegetables and I managed to move to other sections of the store.

It was then I tried to understand trolley etiquette.

Up ahead of me to the right was a bloke comparing various items while on the left there was a woman who was checking off her shopping list.

After waiting patiently for a few moments I made a ran for the gap to get through.

The gap closed as one of them moved up a little more and I had to wait even longer, while they were none the wiser.

I can see us writing stories in the paper about shopping trolley rage in the near future.

Shopping in Bunnings has never been this stressful.