AT 54, Vicki may have been contemplating a relaxed retirement.
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But when her daughter took her own life last year, Vicki became a full-time mum to her grandchildren, aged seven, nine and 10.
Vicki (not her real name) said her daughter, 35, had suffered serious drug and mental health problems for years.
She had been unable to get the help that would have allowed her to recover from those illnesses.
Vicki is now concerned about the children’s future as they grow up in the shadow of their mum’s death.
“Suicide doesn’t end with suicide,” Vicki said.
“One day these children are going to have to deal with the fact their mother committed suicide.
“It’s going to create more challenges for them, things that they’re going to have to deal with themselves.”
Vicki’s story is a tragic and complicated one.
Her daughter, her second child, was forcibly taken from her and adopted out as a baby after Vicki fell pregnant at 16 — and after Vicki’s own suicide attempt.
When her daughter turned 21, Vicki found her in a Sydney mental institution and brought her back to Albury.
During the next 14 years, the troubled young woman lived in Wodonga and had three children.
Each birth was followed by a stint in Nolan House and Vicki cared for them.
She said she couldn’t bear to let them be fostered out.
Vicki said her daughter’s inability to manage her bipolar and schizophrenia gave her a dual personality.
“We would never know if the person who would come around would be the charming, beautiful girl ... or the person who everyone was fearful of,” Vicki said.
Sometimes her daughter would visit her children, and shortly before her death she holidayed with them all at the beach.
Vicki said that during what was a special time for the family, she had talked to her daughter about suicide.
“I said to her ‘Do you feel suicidal?’ and she said ‘Oh don’t worry, thoughts go through my head sometimes but I would never do that to you and the kids’.”
“She was beautiful then — stunning.
“You would have not have known she had an illness.”
Vicki said that when her daughter died eight months later, she had not left a note or said goodbye.
Her mother wishes she could have paused to take a breath before she did it.
“People who think they are suicidal need to know it will pass like a craving for a smoke,” she said.
“I think of my life, too, and as challenging as it has been, I would have not had it — it could have been wiped out when I was 16.”
Vicki said she believed a youth mental health centre in Albury-Wodonga was vital to preventing more young people from spiralling beyond the help of their families.
She and the children have submitted butterflies with their messages of support to get a federally funded headspace centre on the Border.
Vicki said she may not have been able to save her daughter, but it was not too late for the children now in her care.
“When I was reunited with my daughter I thought I was being reunited with her to have a relationship with her,” she said.
“But I finally recognised she had been reunited with me to keep her children together.
“It was for them.”