I rang Telstra faults and, after six minutes, was hooked up to “Dean” — I assume he was working in the Philippines.

Dean was amazingly polite and, for the next 30 minutes, played me like a violin.

“Mr Frank” could you please disconnect this, plug this in, “Mr Frank” unplug this, now plug this back in, could you stand on your head and on and on it went.

It must have been time for his tea-break so he informed me that, yes indeed, my phone was faulty and I had won the lottery and wouldn’t be charged $120 for an incorrect call-out.

He then escalated my call to “John”, who said yes, it was a fault at the exchange and at least a couple of hundred other customers in the area were affected.

Two questions — why did I need to spend 30 minutes pulling my house apart when they knew a fault existed? And how much do they pay the ringmaster of this circus?

Last I heard when the Three Amigos were pulling the strings — one was making $5 million a year.

Go the Lucky Country!

— FRANK SMITH,

Oaklands