Discard the ‘plastic fantastic’ for quality over quantity this Christmas and give children gifts that promote independence and encourage imaginative play, writes ELIZA ADAMTHWAITE.
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THE most precious gift you can give your children at Christmas is happy memories.
Wouldn’t it be lovely to avoid the “plastic fantastic” — presents that capture the attention of your children for that one morning but are cast aside by the next day?
More and more parents are looking for Christmas gift ideas that are outside the square, that are sustainably made, that encourage children to think creatively or build memories that last a lifetime.
Other parents are dropping hints to grandparents about presents that aren’t bigger and better than last year but instead build relationships with their grandchildren.
Wodonga mother Rachael Davies has three children who were receiving presents from a grandparent that were getting more extravagant each year.
“Every year her presents were getting bigger and bigger and she was outdoing us,” Ms Davies says.
“In the end I told her she could give one present and that was it.
“So it stopped.
“We have been trying to cut back on what we give and this year we’ve bought one big present for each child.”
When her boys were younger, Ms Davies was involved in a Steiner playgroup where toys made of natural materials were the preference — “things that are useful that teach them things — sewing kits or playing with a hammer,” she says.
“But our kids have had plenty of plastic toys, we haven’t escaped it.
“I think most people would be lying if they said they didn’t have any plastic toys.”
Claire Jorgensen is part owner of the Albury toy shop Who What Why.
“Parents who come in here are looking for something that’s not electronic and something their kids are going to engage with, not just something they will use once,” Ms Jorgensen says.
This year, the most popular item in her store is kinetic sand, which she describes as the “hottest Christmas ticket in town”.
“It’s 98 per cent sand and 2 per cent magic,” she says.
The sand feels like brown sugar and can be moulded like playdough.
“It’s a fascinating, intricate, tactile thing,” Ms Jorgensen says.
“Of all the whizz bang things, kids want sand.”
Kinetic sand is an example, however, of gifts that encourage creativity and distract from “screen time”.
“Kids are interactive creatures. They’re interacting with a screen because it’s giving something back to them,” Ms Jorgensen says.
“So if you give them something they can play together — a board game or a pool game — kids are always happier when they’re doing something with someone.
“Anything that makes you laugh releases all those nice endorphins.”
Ms Jorgensen’s advice for grandparents stuck for Christmas gift ideas is to think of items they can enjoy with their grandchildren.
“We always advise grandparents to get something you can do with the kids and build a memory,” she says.
“It’s nice to give them something they want but if grandparents are travelling and don’t get to see them much, if you have a game or an art activity you can do together, they will say, ‘Grandma played this first with me’.”
Nicola Bussell and her husband Harry live on a farm at Carboor with their three children Jack, 9, Sophie, 7, and Emily, 2.
Their children attend the Beechworth Montessori School, where Mrs Bussell works in administration.
Not previously familiar with Montessori philosophies, Mrs Bussell now appreciates their approach to gift-giving at Christmas.
"It’s disheartening to give a highly anticipated toy or the newest gadget, only to see it ignored a week or two later. The antidote? Fewer presents of better quality, as well as an emphasis on experiences."
While Montessori schools offer a secular education, they celebrate religious festivals as a means of learning about culture.
So the Christian celebration of Christmas is included in the curriculum together with cultural events such as the Chinese New Year.
“The children are taught they are one part of a bigger world with many different people, cultures, languages, flags and food,” Mrs Bussell says.
“And realising there are also many different festivals and religions is part of that.
“They are aware we are in a country where we celebrate Christmas so they teach the Christmas story, what it is and why it’s celebrated.
“But they’re concurrently being taught that all around the world people do different things.
“Montessori is big on teaching a peaceful philosophy of living together in a united world rather than a dominance of one thing over another.”
When it comes to giving gifts at Christmas, parents are encouraged to give books, traditional games like snakes and ladders or chess, kitchen or garden tools, memberships or season-passes to clubs or societies, subscriptions, musical instruments, hand-made toys or curious plants such as a Venus flytrap.
Last week the school included an article in its newsletter that encouraged parents to consider “non-toy gifts” for toddlers to teens.
The article’s author Laura Grace Weldon probed the motivations behind the gifts we give our children.
“What do we really want when we offer gifts to our kids?” Weldon writes.
“I’m guessing excitement, happiness, hopefully some lasting joy.
“It’s disheartening to give a highly anticipated toy or the newest gadget, only to see it ignored a week or two later.
“The antidote? Fewer presents of better quality, as well as an emphasis on experiences.”
This is an approach Mrs Bussell agrees with, adding that her children will not be denied toys but will receive gifts of “quality not quantity”.
“The research indicates, and as parents you are aware of this too, that you can spend a lot of money on children on fancy gifts and in a relatively short period of time they’re not being used any more, which can be quite frustrating,” Mrs Bussell says.
“And we live in a society based on profit and marketing so there are trends that occur in children’s toys that aren’t necessarily the result of children but clever marketing.”
In response to that, Mrs Bussell and her husband have chosen gifts for their children that encourage them to be active in the world around them.
They live on a farm with a vegetable patch, a flower garden and animals to care for, so gifts are often tied to those activities.
“Last Christmas they each got a bike, hand-me-downs that had been revamped,” Mrs Bussell says.
“That was partly so that when we move the sheep along the road, they can ride their bikes and everyone is participating.”
The gifts her children receive reinforce the parenting philosophies Mrs Bussell and her husband employ.
This is reinforced at the Montessori school where teachers do not assume that children have already picked up basic life skills, such as tying your shoes or washing the dishes.
Montessori educator Amanda Witulski suggests putting more thought into gifts that will encourage the development of your child will bring more lasting enjoyment.
“No matter the age of the child, a variety of gifts can reach each child’s interest, promote independence, and allow for imaginative play,” she says.
When it comes to more personal philosophies, Mrs Bussell is keen to remind her children of the original reason for giving gifts at Christmas.
She says celebrating Christmas in Australia is also a reminder of the Christian belief system on which the country was founded.
“The Christmas story is still the gift of Jesus who later claimed to be the son of God as a person,” she says.
“So it’s the gift of Jesus coming to people, even the people who didn’t know him, appreciate him or want him.
“Yet that was the ultimate gift.
“And then we still give gifts today in reflection of that beginning.”