Australia's mining sector has been getting kicked in the teeth for so long now that it was only a matter of time before one of the minnows did something about it.
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Perth-based gold explorer, Mount Magnet South, has announced plans to re-invent itself as a dental disrupter by making "traditionally expensive custom mouthguards accessible to everyday Australians."
The penny dreadful will acquire Gameday International, raise $2 million, and rename itself Impression Healthcare Ltd.
The online service will offer customers a custom-fitted mouthguard from the comfort of their own home.
To beef up its credentials the company has even managed to recruit West Coast Eagles legend, John Worsfold, to the board.
Worsfold is no stranger to being kicked in the teeth.
He signed up as coach for the AFL's poster boys for anti-doping, Essendon, just months before losing most of his senior playing squad to the doping saga – which means he can kiss goodbye season 2016 before it has begun.
The qualified chemist might want to consider trialling GameDay's product before fronting the Bomber's post game press conferences this year.
He might also want to find a pair for Essendon's new chairman, former Labor minister, Lindsay Tanner.
It's going to be that sort of season.
But Gameday may have got more bang for their buck from another AFL legend, the league's former boss, Andrew Demetriou.
He made a motza from false-teeth maker Ruthinium, and there must be some cross-over.
Narev unplugged
The Commonwealth Bank likes to keep its profit announcements as dry as the Sahara Desert.
And its chief executive, former Kiwi child actor Ian Narev, knows how to deliver – even when he is forced off-script in an analyst briefing by technical glitches.
Narev's microphone started letting out high-pitched feedback as he started his opening spiel.
"The microphone's probably giving you some sense of the turbulence of the times," Narev quipped, before jumping into the details of the CBA's vision and strategy.
He failed to talk the banking sector out of the hole that its stock has plunged into this year, but it was enough to lift CBA's shares on Wednesday – which is handy when you consider how important the total shareholder return metric is to the bank's executive incentive scheme.
Very Grim
If Bank of Queensland boss, Jon Sutton, was feeling a bit down as the share price of his bank plunged again on Wednesday, he could always look at his predecessor to cheer himself up.
Stuart Grimshaw left BoQ abruptly in 2014 to try his luck at Texas pawn broker EZCorp.
EZCorp shares are now trading at a quarter of the level they were at when Grimshaw joined, and the latest quarterly result shows why.
Its revenues went backwards, and so did its earnings with the company reporting a loss of $US7.2 million ($10.2 million) for the quarter.
This was largely thanks to a Mexican subsidiary which is now being sent to the knacker's yard.
Not that Grimshaw is getting carried away with the negatives.
"In July 2015, we announced significant strategic changes in our company's direction ... to serve and satisfy our customers beyond their expectations. This quarter's results reflect encouraging progress in meeting those expectations," he said.
Let's not think about the investors' expectations.
Meet the Nairns
Gerry Harvey and Katie Page manage to share a marital bed and the top offices at Harvey Norman, so who's to say that Ian Nairn and wife Sue Nairn will have any trouble at stationery retailer, Kikki.K.
Ian, who abruptly departed David Jones last year, will become the new chief executive at Kikki.K where his wife is currently its retail boss.
Let's hope all goes well with the overseas expansion strategy they will be overseeing. We wouldn't want it to cause any sleepless nights in the Nairn household.
Regional Cross
Life is getting pretty complicated for alleged broadcast billionaire, Bruce Gordon.
Gordon's regional broadcaster WIN, is suing its metro affiliate, Nine Entertainment, to prevent it from live streaming its TV shows, WIN's market in regional Australia.
The fun bit is that Gordon is, of course, the largest shareholder in Nine.
Things could get really interesting if his regional broadcast counterparts at Prime, and Southern Cross, follow suit.
Gordon is also a significant shareholder in another metro broadcaster, Ten. CBD wonders whose side he will be on then.
Got a tip? ckruger@fairfaxmedia.com.au
