MY first day of kindergarten back in the late 1970s is a little hazy in my mind except for a crystal clear memory of a bloodied John Longmire sitting in the infants school department office.
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He was holding a wad of tissues to his bleeding nose with his head tilted back.
The cheerful office administrator – who also happened to be Longmire’s sweet maternal grandmother Peg Williams – was tending to him as she welcomed me and my mum to the school for the first time.
I couldn’t focus on Mrs Williams that morning; I only saw a tall boy in a big chair with a blood nose.
“I’ve got no hope at all!” I remember thinking, “Even the big kids get beat up here.”
Turned out to be a straight-forward nose bleed; no other parties were implicated.
This weekend the former Corowa Public School Grade 1 pupil with the blood nose will lead the Sydney Swans – or the Bloods if you like – into another AFL grand final at the MGC, this time against the sentimental crowd favourite Western Bulldogs.
As I don’t want to sideline any whole subset of committed footy fans/readers, I won’t reveal my true colours at this stage of the column-game.
Suffice to say, I will be watching the match from the very rained-on Riverina plains out Tocumwal way.
However, I am guaranteed a good seat with a good view of the TV and minimal catering duties.
It has taken me years to get this formula right.
During my 20s I hardly remember seeing an AFL grand final on account of the large gatherings and the small TV screens. Our first 68-centimetre CRT screen from Harvey Norman Bendigo was a big boy back in those days.
We camped in an L-shaped lounge room on the Border one year. As my husband and I turned up late we sat at the back in the bottom of the “L” with no ability to see around the corner to the TV. I’m told we didn’t miss anything!
In our late twenties, my husband and I were the only two people in all of Perisher Valley watching the grand final on the big screen one September.
We had a brilliant view of the match and all of the beginner skiers crashing in front valley – just as we’d done the day before!
We watched the 2006 and 2007 AFL grand finals across the ditch in Wellington, New Zealand.
We had Pay TV connected over there on account of the lack of sport and Nigella Lawson on the free-to-air channels.
Unfortunately, the weather was rarely on our side.
The “Rain Fade” signal was constantly interrupting my cooking channel viewing mid-recipe.
I emailed my husband at work: “More Rain Fade here and a giant weta just crawled in among the TV cables! Any ideas?”
His reply: “Save the dog … and then yourself, of course!”
In 2006 the West Coast Eagles beat the Sydney Swans though our TV experience was a wash-out.
Three minutes into the first term: “RAIN FADE!!”
We decamped to a nearby tavern with a clear view on account of the lack of local interest.
So while we’re heading way out west in the big wet this weekend, hopefully the signal stands up to it.
Call me parochial, but I’ll be barracking for the boy from Balldale. #gobloods
