You’d be surprised how many people ask me “Why don’t priests get married?” I usually respond “Don’t you think we priests make enough sacrifices?” Of course, I wouldn’t know if marriage was a sacrifice, I just take so many people’s word for it.

A man once told me “I’m not going to get married again. I’m just going to search hard until I find a person I can’t stand and then just give them a house!” At least he’s thinking about his future. 

Still, I don’t think it’s fair that I’ll never have a wedding day and some of my friends have had three! In the old days only ministers and judges performed official ceremonies. Now they got these people who perform weddings and funerals and ironically they’re called “celebrants”.  

With divorce rates still high, maybe the rumour I heard recently is true that Mattel are bringing out a new Barbie doll called “Divorce Barbie”. Apparently Divorce Barbie comes with all Ken’s stuff. 

For all the many jokes and criticisms leveled at marriage over the years, it’s surprising marriage is still around and still so popular. Or is it?

Jesus said of marriage “What God has joined, no one must divide” and both his enemies and friends argued against Jesus at the time; and on and off, they have been arguing against him throughout history ever since, and never so much as in our own age. 

I think marriage is a subject so serious and central to any society that it’s a subject worth musing on regularly. I won’t give you my definition of marriage but I hope my musings can appeal to your intelligence and get the cogs turning to start thinking and questioning what goes on around you. 

I never thought I would dislike a reality TV show more than Big Brother, but Married At First Sight has got me wondering. Past contestant Simone Lee Brennan, who was not a happy girl, wrote of her experience on the show: “Conversations and events were cut, copied and pasted. I walked down the aisle four times, said my vows three times, and we kissed at the altar twice”. A new contestant in this season’s series is marrying a complete stranger, however she wasn't ready for marriage when her on-off ex of 10 years proposed. 

Ok, the marriages on the show are not legally binding (what marriage is?) and they can get out after a month which only proves yet again that “reality TV” is not reality and is a contradiction in terms.

But something to consider in all of this is the possibility that marriage isn’t marriage any more. 

Many years ago I was invited to a dinner at the home of the current Shadow Minister for the Environment, the Arts and a few other shadows, Tony Burke. Now I’m not name-dropping here, in fact I recently said to Kylie Minogue “You know if there is one thing I can’t stand Kylie, it’s name-droppers!” I should be so lucky! Anyway, I only mention Tony Burke because he explained and lamented to me that the law does not allow him to be bound to his wife. He pointed out that he can be bound to contracts with business partners and other members of society, but not his wife. When his seemingly strong marriage broke up I realised how true it is what he said. Perhaps we could have different types of unions we all agree can be dissolved whenever one party chooses but one type of union that’s permanent. This may save a lot of disappointment.

Father Brendan Lee