Wag yoga to catch a lift to Melbourne with sister-in-law N. Trade Hindu chants on the mat for Spotify road-trip mix in the front seat position. Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go!

Bourke Street Mall, 10.30am

Hook up with Sydney party, sister-in-law D and niece, who gains a foot on me every year, I swear.

N leaves outlines of her children's feet at the hotel so we hot shoe shuffle to the back of Bourke; Quest on Bourke, that is. Birkenstock has moved and the new store has no sale on children's shoes. Damn you Germany, let's do Denmark!

Dansk, Denmark House, 12.30pm

Having booked three months ago, I know I did not build it up enough when N remarks: Let’s go to Jodie’s sandwich shop. Luckily the experience lives up to the hype in my head. We choose three smørrebrød (open sandwich on rye) each; beginner herring, smoked salmon and marbled egg, goat's cheese with pear and walnuts are highlights. Wash it down with a bottle of bubbles as beer is on the pricey side of pricey.

Bridge Road, Richmond, 2.45pm

If you drink and shop, you're a bloody idiot! As the owner of a wardrobe big on black and beige, my new Trenery orange smock shirt from the Country Road outlet confirms this theory but at the time it is a bargain to boot. I sober up by Gorman Surprise and buy a black velvet shift with a cowl neckline and black and beige printed t-shirt. No surprises there.

Touch off the tram in the CBD, Myki card shows minus 30 cents. (I’ll make it up to you Melbourne!)

Supernormal, Flinders Lane, 5.05pm

We are seated by hospital dinner time but smugly watch the queue snake out the door by 6pm. Pan-fried Pot Sticker Dumplings are divine and slow-cooked Szechuan Lamb with spring onion pancake and coriander paste to share a standout. Two big rigs navigate the narrow laneway to unload at the theatre next door. Dinner and a show!

Saturday, 9.30am

Mother-in-law takes the overnight XPT from Albury. The whole gang is back in Melbourne-town. Waiting to catch a tram to Brunswick East, we top up Myki cards as N dashes back to the hotel. We rightly assume she has forgotten the kids’ feet again.

Milkwood, Brunswick East, 10am

Travel to the end of the tramline but ace front of house and top-notch coffee make the trek worth it.

Shifty Chevre, Fitzroy, 2.30pm

Rose Street Market. Done. Converse. Done. Adidas. Done. Say please, to cheese! 

Mamasita, Collins Street, 5.30pm

My sister R joins our now party of six in hipster Mexican hangout up one flight of steep stairs. We dine on grilled corn on the cob with cheese, chipotle and mayo, soft shell tacos and sweetcorn ice cream with salted caramel popcorn. It’s cheap as chips and the only downside is brain freeze from the generous ice cream cone. Three of us hop home via one bar as 8pm is too early for bed even for me.

National Gallery of Victoria, Sunday

Up early and on the go to Van Gogh. We brush up on our art history and come face-to-face with Vincent’s fabulous self-portrait.

Western Ring Road, 3.30pm

After spotting superb ironic mullet mixing cocktails at Chin Chin and a brilliant brunch, we miss CityLink exit and reach the Hume via airport. One wrong turn and one dubious bargain buy aside, I can’t recommend enough the wellbeing benefits of an annual three-generational, girls’ weekend.

Nom nom-aste until next May!

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