One morning Tracey Spicer woke to an email from her dad saying he was going to kill himself.
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The well-known television presenter will never forget that terrifying day 15 years ago when she read that her father could not live with his demons anymore.
Both Tracey and her sister frantically tried to make contact with their dad, fearing they were already too late.
In the end, thankfully, he answered the phone to his distraught daughters and said he couldn’t go through with it.
Another time, watching a show about comedian Garry McDonald’s battle with the “black dog”, her father said: “That’s what I’ve got. Most days I don’t want to live, I want to die.”
In many ways Tracey says her father’s battle with depression and attempt on his life wasn’t a surprise; the signs had been there but smothered in the stigma of shame and silence.
“Mum passed away 18 years ago and Dad was self-medicating with alcohol – it’s like he just gave up,” she recalls.
“My sister and I were doing all we could but it was his GP who saved his life.”
The no-nonsense doctor prescribed anti-depressants, her father gave up the grog and has not looked back.
Her now 74-year-old “very brave dad” is happy for Tracey to share his story in the hope it will encourage others to talk about their issues and seek help.
Tracey herself is no stranger to personal – and professional – battles.
The 49-year-old has delivered headlines and also been the subject of them during a 30-year career as a television news anchor, columnist and public speaker.
The mother-of-two is passionate about gender equity and details her experiences in the “cruel and shallow money trench” of television in her book, The Good Girl Stripped Bare.
She will share some of those insights at Albury-Wodonga’s Winter Solstice for Survivors of Suicide and Friends event on June 21.
But mostly Tracey will talk about safeguarding your mental health as vigilantly as your physical health.
“I’m selfish like that,” she says.
“You need to eat well, exercise and get the right amount of sleep, otherwise things can go downhill really quickly.”
In our fast-paced world, Tracey’s an advocate for the “slow life movement”.
Whether it’s too much technology, too much running around or too much alcohol, she says it’s important to put strong boundaries around the things that aggravate stress and anxiety.
When it comes to mental health and suicide prevention, we need to do better.
“It’s all well and good to raise awareness and start a conversation but we need services that are accessible and appropriate,” she says.
“We can’t encourage people to seek help who then feel like they’ve been left hung out to dry because there is no follow-up.”
It’s everybody’s business
The entire community needs to take on the fight to tackle suicide, a leading mental health campaigner has said ahead of this month’s Albury-Wodonga Winter Solstice event.
From multi-millionaires to the man on struggle street, mental illness doesn’t discriminate, according to former world champion boxer and NRL star Joe Williams.
Whether it’s family, work colleagues or mates on the sporting field, he said it was the responsibility of every single person in the community to look out for each other.
“Suicide is everybody’s business,” he said.
Williams, who is among the line-up of speakers for the June 21 event at Albury’s QEII Square, has openly documented his lifelong struggle with depression and attempt on his life in 2012.
The talented sportsman, who was raised in Wagga and played football in the region, has transformed his own life and the lives of others through his work in the area of mental health and suicide prevention.
He said it was a privilege to be asked to speak at community events such as the winter solstice – and he’s extremely grateful to be alive today.
Williams believes the biggest catalyst to suicide is hopelessness.
“When hope is lost, lives are lost,” he said.
Williams admitted even now, with good coping mechanisms in place, he found it hard to speak when depression took hold.
“We do know, if someone is thinking about suicide, they are trying their all to reach out for help but they just can’t,” he said.
“We have to provide a safe space to chat or at least make the offer and plant the seed.”
That’s why, he said, the load needed to be shared by a more vigilant broader community.
“People often say they didn’t see it (suicide) coming but, really, you can see it coming,” Williams said
“Be more aware of your loved ones, your friends and your work colleagues - mate, it just means we really need to pay more attention.
“We need to listen twice as much as we speak.”
Williams absolutely agrees that a loss of connection to family and community can have a big impact of mental health.
“Suicide prevention begins around the kitchen table – it begins with that connectedness,” he said.
The proud dad is also an advocate for the healthy body equals a healthy mind ethos.
“Did you know 26 minutes of rigorous exercise creates 12 hours of better moods because it releases endorphins into the brain?” he said.
“Healthy eating is a direct food source to the brain so if you can eat well, you will feel well.”
Messages of hope in darkness of despair
The Serenity Prayer is forever etched into the mind and body of Joe Williams.
The former world boxing champ and NRL star has battled many fierce opponents but none more formidable than the enemy within.
His lifelong fight against depression and attempt on his life is well-documented.
But on June 21, when he steps on stage at the Albury-Wodonga Winter Solstice event, his prayer will be one of hope and healing for the wider community.
Like the tattoo he bears, Williams will share with those who have lost friends and loved ones to suicide and mental illness, the story of how he found “the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change the things I can”.
Together with fellow speakers Tracey Spicer and Professor Jane Burns, Williams will help Albury-Wodonga mark the longest night of the year and shed light on the silent grief of suicide.
From Spicer’s warm and witty account of her father’s journey back from the brink to Professor Burns’ tips on using technology to tap into information and resources, the committee has again organised an evening of inspirational speakers and entertainment set amidst the cosy comfort of crackling fires.
The underlying theme among this year’s line-up of presenters is that words must translate to action in order to curb the country’s crippling suicide statistics and address key shortcomings in mental health services.
It’s as simple as connecting with our families around the kitchen table and as complex as developing the technology to better connect with our most vulnerable and isolated residents.
Ultimately it’s about creating a lifeline of hope so that fewer lives are lost.
Now in its fifth year, the free community event will be held at Albury’s QEII Square from 5pm to 7pm. For more information visit the Albury-Wodonga Winter Solstice Facebook page.
- If you or someone you know needs help, call Lifeline: 13 11 14