With International Talk Like a Pirate Day (September 19) creeping up on us like a thief in the night, it was all over before I could properly roll my Rs and walk my talk, I mean, the plank. Arrrgh!

Of course, there’s always next year.

International Talk Like a Pirate Day is a parodic holiday created in 1995 by John Baur (Ol’ Chumbucket) and Mark Summers (Cap’n Slappy), of Albany, Oregon, who proclaimed September 19 each year as the day when everyone in the world should talk like a pirate.

Surrre, why not?!

But if International Talk Like Pirate Day crept up on us quickly this year, then National Quiet Day last week really went under the radar.

On September 14 people are encouraged to take a moment for themselves and enjoy a little sanctuary in silence.

Time to dip into that great book you’ve been meaning to get back to, time to relax and let your mind wander, maybe just a few minutes to stare out the window at your beautiful surroundings. How’s the serenity!?

I can barely recall last Thursday but I feel 99 per cent certain it did not go to plan for a thoroughly successful attempt at National Quiet Day.

Admittedly Whirlpool – makers of the washing machine – started this event in Britain but technically we’re still part of the Commonwealth.

If the Britons are taking a load off, so should we too follow suit. I’m not talking washing here either!

Colour Blindness Awareness Day on September 6 also got through sight unseen.

In the same way that navy and black look much of a muchness to me depending on the shop lighting, I don’t see what all the fuss is about.

National Insurance Day kicked off the month of September.

The Government of Sri Lanka declared September 1 as the National Insurance Day as a measure to increase public awareness on the importance of insurance.

Hooray!! While I believe in insurance I don’t want to dwell on it too much!

Looking ahead, As You Wish Day on September 25 sounds promising enough.

Further investigation revealed it was based on the modest box-office success The Princess Bride (1987), which gained cult status for being widely regarded as eminently quotable.

Based around a story told by a grandfather to his sick grandson, the boy asks him to read the story to him again the next day, to which the grandfather replied, “As you wish”, which, as he explained earlier, meant “I love you”.

In effect, a whole day has been dedicated to a punchline in a certified box office film flop.

For those of us feeling under-represented, Self-Represented Litigant Awareness Day runs on September 20.

However, if you’re in Canada you’ll need to sit tight until October 4 to celebrate.

National Self-Represented Litigant Awareness Day, formerly known in Canada as Bring a SRL to Law School Day, has changed names to better “brand” the phenomenon within social media. And that’s the thing I love about Canadians … they’re optimists!

World Contraception Day on September 26 and World Rabies Day on September 28 round out a pretty busy month.

Perhaps the best way to accommodate the chaotic schedule is to sneak in another National Quiet Day before it’s too late.

Shhh! I’m reading.