Standing out from the crowd. It’s what we are so often told that we have to do. You must be noticed!
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You must be different! You must be unique! And while many of us believe that this is absolutely true, we must also be able to conform.
Psychological research tells us that standing out from the crowd goes against our very nature – that as humans, we are pack animals and we naturally want to conform.
We yearn for acceptance and sameness, to be told that we are understood and agreed with. And yet, when it comes to job search, or indeed getting noticed within an organisation, we are expected to do the very opposite of what we are intrinsically built to do … and stand out from the crowd.
Our brains scream at us to conform – we have physical symptoms of attempting to break conformity. Most of us have experienced the moment of choice in our professional lives; the moment that defines our choice between conformity and standing out from the crowd.
I remember sitting in a large room at a counselling workshop weekend with 400-plus other professionals and academic leaders, when I realised that I disagreed with a point that had been made. I had a choice to make: do I sit quietly, irritated and frustrated at the conversation ensuing, or do I stand up and contribute to it?
Do I risk my reputation and being made to look like a fool to potentially share an idea that could garner support from others or at the very least, make others think a little more deeply about the subject at hand? My palms were sweaty. My heart was racing. My face was hot and cold and pink all at once. Eminem’s song flashed through my mind.
And yet, the urge to raise my hand was stronger than the urge to sit quietly by. My body was physically screaming out at me to put that hand down and be still, but I didn’t.
That was my moment of choice. There have been plenty of moments, when I was less confident, less experienced, less – well – old, where I sat quietly, irritated and frustrated and later full of regret for lacking the courage. But in this moment, I raised my hand and it marked the beginning of a future of raised hands and the development of a new reputation as someone who does exactly that – stands up.
However, conformity is not the symptom of ordinariness that we seem to consider it to be. We need conformity. We need to be able to collaborate, liaise, communicate, share ideas, consult, seek out, inspire, be inspired, listen. In short, we need to be able to be a part of the machine as much as we need to be the driver.
We need to know the other cogs that are whirring, so we can make sure that what we do is different – yet complementary – to the collective movement.
We need to know where we fit in, so we know how we can stand out.
We need to understand the direction in which we are going so we can ensure our contribution is effective.
And we need to comprehend the impact of our movement on the broader world around us so we can better serve others and make informed decisions.
Standing out from the crowd is a complicated business – not least of which because, it’s important to know when to stand out and timing it right, rather than just standing out for the sake of it.
When it’s done for the right reason – driven by purpose and a burning desire to make a positive impact on those around us – then, standing out can be as rewarding as it is fruitful.