Recently at a supermarket I asked the checkout individual for a plastic bag. She replied, “We don’t use plastic bags here”.
Subscribe now for unlimited access.
$0/
(min cost $0)
or signup to continue reading
I thought “This is abominable!” (I like using that word.)
One old lady told me “When they do that, just leave all the groceries there and walk out”. Unfortunately I’d already paid.
Anyway, I put on my best fake smile knowing it’s not her decision. I was on my motorcycle that day and wondered how I was going to ride home and hold jersey caramels, 500g of bacon, musk sticks, and a block of Old Jamaica.
I may be a clown, but that doesn’t mean I can juggle!
The whole ride home I’m staring into the rear vision mirrors thinking “Did I just drop the bacon? Is that a block of Old Jamaica back there? I can’t feel my jersey caramels!”
The first time I got punished with “we don’t use plastic bags here” was paradoxically a stationery store. I mused “These guys sell sheets of laminex, and they’re worried about plastic bags?”
If you want people to still LIKE your profile picture on Clonebook 10,000 years from now, get your profile picture laminated. It’s abominably unbiodegradable, so who knows, Walt Disney might even LIKE it.
Am I the only one currently thinking being environmentally friendly is becoming a little unfriendly, even a little silly?
I saw an ad on YouTube, and I already hate ads on YouTube, of Arnold Schwarzenegger telling us to eat less meat. I’ll be boggled!
Harrison Ford is currently vice-chair of Conservation International. Although he struggled with ownership of the Millennium Falcon in Star Wars, he owns seven airplanes and admits “I often fly up the coast for a cheeseburger.”
I don’t care if Ford is a greenie, I don’t even care that he shot Greedo first before Greedo even got a chance to draw, but you shouldn’t be crusading people about reducing their carbon footprint when you’ve got a carbon footprint the size of the Abominable Snowman.
But the greenest zealot, who got the environmental ball rolling, which is very good, has like many greenies, turned being green into a religion, complete with dogma and prophecies that have been anything but infallible.
Appropriately he calls himself “Sting”. Sting’s unbelievably luxurious lifestyle is no longer news, but Sting tells us to live on less and taught the destruction of the Amazon rainforest could be stopped by contributing money to The Rainforest Foundation.
He neglected to disclose the foundation was founded by himself, his then girlfriend, and friend Jean Pierre Dutilleux and that it’s main office was Sting's house in London.
We’re being told the bottom of the ocean is practically covered in plastic bags and the fish are all dying. Unfortunately many are believing this tripe - hook, line and sinker.
I saw a “save the planet” show on TV which taught we are using 60 times more water than needed to flush the toilet.
How did they come up with this scientific figure of 60? Did they actually flush a toilet with 1/60th of the usual amount of water? What was their test tube? A standard-sized Royal Doulton or a drinking straw? Not get too ... but did they experiment on onesies or twosies? How did they decide on “your average amount”?
Enough of this … experiment. My lack of plastic bags has me worried that the lack of accurate data in climate change discussions is an inconvenient truth.