When I tell someone I live alone, they’re immediately surprised.
My personality might imply that I live in a house with five other roommates and we have dinner parties every weekend and stay up late watching Netflix and talking about boys.
Nup – I live alone and have done for three years.
It's called being an ‘introverted extrovert’ - defined as someone who enjoys the company of others whilst simultaneously cultivating energy from being alone. That’s me.
However, my life is about to change – I’m about to become a housemate. Before you write me a card congratulating me, let’s look at the pros and cons.
Pro: You’re alone a lot and you’re super in touch with yourself
Con: It can be lonely. You sometimes go a whole weekend without making eye contact with anyone. And if you’re feeling sad, chances are, the checkout chick at Coles isn’t going to want to listen to your drama.
Pro: You can leave the house a mess. If you’ve had a busy week or you can’t be bothered picking up after yourself like an eight-year-old there is literally NO ONE to judge the fact you left your underwear on the bathroom floor and your coffee mugs are littered throughout the entire house.
Con: You and only you are responsible for cleaning. Sometimes one rando cleaning spree isn’t enough and you have to get on your hands and knees in the shower to scrub that nasty shower grime. There’s no palming that off.
Pro: There are no rules, only yours. Sometimes bench tops double as plates; sometimes you practice handstands in the lounge room.
Con: After a while, you’ll probably question whether you fit into civil life any more. That, or you'll be exposed at work when you realise not everyone is ok with you talking on the phone in the toilet.
Pro: There are no bathroom time restrictions.
Con: You regret every long shower you had when you receive the water bill. It’s your own fault you decided to sit down in the shower and think about every decision you’ve ever made for 40 minutes.
HAVING A HOUSEMATE
Pro: Having someone to go out with, enjoy a pre-drink with and be social with.
Con: There is now a witness to all of your terrible choices. Forget having any “special secret visitors” over – you’ll have some explaining to do over breakfast the next morning.
Pro: You’ll never be lonely.
Con: You’re never alone. If you have a hard day at work and you want to kill everyone and sit on your couch eating directly from the peanut butter jar but you’ve got someone in your ear asking you how your day was. That is my definition of hell.
Pro: You’ll feel safe. Very easy to blame the creak in the floorboard on your housemate rather than a small demonic child.
Con: Depending on what kind of company your housemate keeps, you might feel unsafe. But hey, the guy with the face tattoos might actually be a really nice guy!
Pro: Having someone to tan your back and do your necklaces up.
Con: You’ll also have to take responsibility for evenly applying fake tan to someone else’s back.
Am I really ready for that kind of responsibility?
Riley-Rose Harper can be heard on Hit 104.9 from 6-9am on weekdays.