I’ve rationalised, started many sentences with “yeah, but he does it because…” and easily dismissed lots of behaviours that are hard to ignore down the track.  

Some deal breakers seem insignificant. 

One friend of mine won’t date a guy that says “youse” in conversation.

I’ve heard friends mention that they absolutely won’t go out with anyone that doesn’t have a licence. Let’s not discount the smaller deal breakers that can send you running for the hills – like bad hygiene, or being rude to cafe staff.

Relationship deal-breakers are often formulated from a wonderful thing we call hindsight or – for want of a better term – a crappy break-up.

While most people see break-ups as a sort of romantic upheaval, they should be seen as a gift from the universe to learn from.

I don’t have a long list of deal breakers, but through trial and error I’ve come up with a few solid ones.

Cheating: It seems so glaringly obvious, like everyone would (or at least should) have on their list.

But it isn’t always so black and white. I went out with a serial cheater for a while after I convinced myself I was the exception to his philanderous ways.

Even though it’s totally transparent for your friends and family around you to see what’s happening, sometimes you have to learn the hard way. Which I did.

Baggage: If you go out with someone and all they talk about is their ex and how they still have shared custody of their poodle – unfollow.

A lot of us tend to put someone else’s needs before our own but, really, we have to make sure we can look after ourselves before we look after anyone else.  

Lack of ambition: You don’t have to be aspiring to run the country or fly to the moon, but some sort of drive is ticking the box.

There’s nothing more frustrating to me having to justify a life choice or a future career prospect to someone because their ambition doesn’t match mine.

An inability to text message: Yes, this is SUCH a millennial thing, but it’s super unsexy if you can’t spam someone’s inbox all day.

I’m sorry if I’m offending any of the generations that relied on phone calls and letters to talk to their significant other.

But when you get left on read, receive one word replies or even just an obscure emoji – that’s frustrating.

Dating can be tough out there especially now in a world full of ghosting, Tinder and randoms sliding into your DMs.

But whether you’re single or in a relationship, it’s good to know what your deal-breakers are, and what you’re slightly more tolerant of.

Those little annoyances we push to the back of our minds are like ticking time bombs and eventually you could end up irrationally melting down, or even worse – irrationally melting down in public over your beau chewing too loudly.

Deal breakers don’t have to mean you carry your list everywhere and check it every time you bump into someone cute at a coffee shop.

It’s setting a standard for yourself, knowing when you’re letting the standard slip and taking another step towards your optimistic romantic future.