THE first time one of my kids got invited to a “No Presents” party in preschool I was “wrapped”.
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It didn’t have anything to do with the cost; it had everything to do with avoiding the last-minute dash downtown to trawl through toys for something that was never quite right or to their taste.
What's your friend’s favourite colour? Hmmm, that changes a lot.
Do they own any of these books? Not entirely sure.
Do they like Lego Friends? Yes. They have stacks of Lego and friends already!
This time we would make a heartfelt card and be done with it.
The closer we got to the party, however, the colder feet I got.
What if the preschooler was not totally on board with the no gift-giving policy? What if this was Mum and Dad's idea and their offspring didn't get the mail?
I asked a couple of other preschool parents – sounding them out thoroughly first to avoid that awkward conversation later about how their child wasn’t invited to the party – for their take on the "No Presents" policy.
Some said they were completely respecting the parents' wishes.
Some said they were giving something small or token like a book.
Others were taking a present because their child simply wanted to give one.
Excellent, no clarity, whatsoever!
We decided to take a terrific handmade card, leaving a book in the boot as a backup if the whole class turned up sporting lavish gifts.
When my daughter and her friend arrived at the party bearing cards but no gifts, the birthday child was busily unwrapping presents.
"Hi," birthday child said to our group.
"Where's my present?"
My daughter shot me a mortified look.
“Silly us!" I say, "We have left it in the car. I'll get it when you're not so busy unwrapping all of those other gifts."
When my tween daughter got invited to a birthday party last year, there was no way I was falling for the “No Presents” proviso again.
We wrapped up a hardcover book without hesitation, holding on to the receipt should it need to be exchanged.
When I arrived to pick up my daughter the kids were sitting around in a circle and the birthday girl was opening her gifts.
Her Dad said: “I’m fairly sure no one was meant to bring a present.”
This year when my daughter was invited to that same friend's birthday party (Please No Presents), we respected their wishes.
It started a conversation in our house about how much stuff we really needed; our extended family is already beyond generous for birthdays and Christmas.
No Present Parties might be on the horizon.
I had a Wonderland-themed party to celebrate my 42nd birthday a couple of years ago; it was the 21st anniversary of my 21st birthday party.
It was the same theme and crowd but fancier food and better bubbly.
I sent out a jumbo playing card invitation with one proviso: Pretty please no presents!
I got enough gifts for my 21st birthday; what could I possibly need now that I'm in my 40s?
Wine. Well, okay, wine aside, I wanted for nothing.
Still some people brought gifts. Others brought wine.
But if you google it: Wine is, in fact, a gift from God. It would be rude to turn it down!
And that is my parting present to you.