It wasn’t a fairy-tale ending or the happily-ever-after we’re taught to expect. 

But her groom, Dale Seabrook, was a hero – to her and now to the whole Border community. 

Dale, who died just 14 hours after marrying Kate last December, has been named the 2018 Border Relay for Life hero. 

“It’s not what anyone plans for their wedding,” Kate said.

“I’ve had a lot of trouble since with people saying ‘oh it must have been so nice to share that big special moment and have a wedding and a cake’.

“They don’t seem to understand that’s not what happened.”

They were due to be married the next day, December 29, with Kate’s close friend Mel Mann planning flowers, a white dress and even wedding llamas. 

But on December 28 Dale, who had been battling advanced melanoma on-and-off for three years and was in hospice care, began rapidly deteriorating and the wedding was quickly brought forward.

“The celebrant was coming from Geelong, I think she broke 15 road rules to get there, apparently she was driving along the emergency lane of the freeway with her hazard lights on to get to the hospital on time it was incredible,” Kate said.

Instead of cake and celebrations the pair had an intimate hospice-room ceremony. Dale struggled to keep his eyes open, his mother Dianne said, but he was well enough to see his beautiful bride. 

“As they were announced husband and wife he opened his eyes and just looked into Kate's eyes,” she said. 

14 hours later Dale died aged 33. 

Only three years earlier, on his 30^th birthday Dale had his first surgery to remove a cancerous melanoma and was declared cancer free.

Kate said his initial diagnosis had come as shock because Dale, while fair, always avoided the sun, wore long sleeve shirts, hats and sunscreen.

For more than two years he remained cancer free, until during a check up doctors detected a lump in his scar tissue. 

A PET scan and biopsy showed Dale had lesions in his lung, bone and liver. 

Despite treatments Dale’s cancer remained and a severe reaction to a medication, called DRESS syndrome, damaged every organ in his body. The reaction to the treatment is so rare only four cases have been recorded globally.

Eventually, after a regression, there was nothing more doctors could do.

Kate, 35, said she wanted to share Dale’s story, and her story, at Border Relay for Life to inspire people to get skin checks but also to show people Dale was so much more than his cancer.

“I don’t want people to forget him, he was so so important to us all and I don’t want him to suddenly disappear,” she said.

“I know a lot of people applied to have their loved one or themselves as the Relay hero so I feel really honoured that they’ve read all those stories and they think Dale’s story is important to share.

“I really don’t want to see anyone else go through what Dale went through, or see any other families go through what we’ve had to. Watching what the melanoma did to Dale was horrific and I don’t want to see anyone have to go through that. 

“If it’s something as simple as going to your doctor for a check every two years, if that’s what you’ve got to do – that’s nothing compared to what the alternative is.”

Dale and Kate first met in 2009 when Dale, a new employee at Kate’s work, walked through the door with a big grin and coccyx support cushion.

“It always impressed me that anyone could turn up at work on their first day with a donut cushion and still give as good as they got when everyone was laughing,” Kate said. 

Kate said even when Dale was sick he remained true to himself, joking he shouldn’t have to do any chores because he had cancer. 

“For most of the time he was fit and happy, making jokes to the end, we all have a little bit of a dark sense of humour so there was lots of inappropriate cancer jokes made,” she said. 

“Dale was more than a cancer patient, it was part of his life but it wasn’t him, a lot of people assume that’s all there was to Dale but there was so much more.

“He had no fear, you’d often see him at Falls Creek, the skier going really fast, slightly out of control always on the edge of falling over.

“He was the life of the party, I've never met anyone who didn’t like Dale.

“It didn’t matter what it was he was front and centre and always with the same grin - I liked to say a stupid grin.”

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