In January, Sydney author Ailsa Piper looked to the cliffs at Gap Park where she walks daily and for the first time, "understood what it might feel like to climb over the fence and choose to fall".
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Delivering the Kerferd Oration in Beechworth, Piper spoke of her husband Peter Curtin's depression and how she had dealt with his death from a cerebral hemorrhage in May, 2014.
"I did know that I was in trouble; writing wasn't keeping me on the 'life side' of the line, so I went to a counsellor," she said of recent months.
"I heard myself say to her, 'If I can just finish this book, then I can be finished with this grief'.
"She laughed ... and then I did too, though that didn't stop the tears - they'd been waiting for five years to fall.
"It turns out the grieving process doesn't actually involve neat, continual, incremental recovery.
"And even the relentlessly happy can fall into despair."
The 59-year-old spoke of how she had to end three years of work, on what was the first book she began writing before publishing Spinning Across Spain in 2012.
"Although I was writing about still life, nature and swimming, the things that have helped me ... all my focus was on the worst days, after his (Peter's) death," she said.
"I forgot the Beechworth visits and the party pies, I forgot our shared afternoons sitting on the couch reading to each other, I even forgot his belief in me.
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"Grief wont go away, but hopefully if I can get out and walk, and open my eyes to the gifts of time and tea with friends ... then my grief might form into a good, strong scar."
The silence of the audience was broken when Piper asked them to share the story of a scar on their body with their neighbour, as "talking about our scars and brokenness helps us speed up the healing".
But Piper also agreed with the comment counselling would not work for all, as it hadn't for Peter through the most part of their 27-year marriage.
"Whatever mental health is ... I don't think it can happen in isolation," she said.
"There's a man they call 'the angel of the Gap', and when he saw someone alone there by the fence, he would ask them if they wanted a cup of tea.
"They've now built a memorial to him, because they think he saved hundreds of lives.
"That tiny connection is what counselling is, I reckon."
The George Briscoe Kerferd Oration is a free community event supported by Indigo Council, La Trobe University, WAW Credit Union and Quercus.
If you need support, contact Lifeline: 13 11 14
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