It's fair to say that Bert Hollands played at more clubs than most during his 350 plus match career. The burly key position player used to thrive on the physical nature of football during the 80s and was quick to fly the flag for teammates. Hollands caught up with The Border Mail's BRENT GODDE during the week.
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BRENT GODDE: You are well-known for your nickname 'Elbows'. Do you think it was warranted?
BERT HOLLANDS: Not really but you don't get to choose your nickname usually. I remember when I was playing for Henty later in my career the opposition crowd used to get in to me and shout out 'Get back to the Tallangatta league you dirty mongrel Hollands.'
BG: You were born and bred in Cobram but focussed more on your cycling as a kid before switching to football?
BH: I didn't really start to get serious about football until I turned 17. My father was an avid cyclist and the highlight for me was coming third in the school championships one year.
BG: You made your senior debut for Cobram?
BH: It was in 1977 and Peter Reynolds was an enforcer for Cobram during that era. We were playing Deniliquin and their coach was targeting a few of us kids and trying to intimidate us. Peter warned him to pull his head in but he didn't listen. So Peter dropped him as we were walking off at half-time and said 'I told you to leave the kids alone.'
BG: You got married relatively young as a 21-year-old?
BH: That's how I ended up at Myrtleford in 1978. My father-in-law is Martin Cross.
BG: You dropped a fair bit of weight when you joined the Saints?
BH: I wasn't as fit as I should have been and Myrtleford got me a job in the timber industry where I was required to lug a chainsaw around and climb up hills. In four months at Myrtleford I lost three stone (19kg).
BG: You played under Neville Hogan at McNamara Reserve in 1979-80?
BH: It's probably fair to say that Neville and I didn't see eye-to-eye which led me to coaching Dederang-Mt Beauty in 1981-82.
BG: You were young to be appointed coach?
BH: I think I was 24 at the time but we boasted a fairly handy side.
BG: You got robbed of a finals berth in your first season in 1981?
BH: We missed finals by .3 per cent. The last match against Kiewa the ball went through for a goal but bounced back out and then a Kiewa player rushed it through for a behind. Being a Kiewa goal umpire, he called it a point. The decision cost us a spot in the finals.
BG: I imagine the Kiewa goal umpire would have copped some abuse?.
BH: It wasn't pleasant at the time and the central umpire copped it too for not overruling the decision. Being coach, I had a fair bit to say at the time.
BG: Did you make amends the following season and play finals?
BH: No we lost about 14 players over the summer with work commitments and retirements.
BG: You were picked at centre half-forward in Dederang's Team of the Past 25-years from 1976-2000?
BH: There are some handy names in there with Glenn Page captain, Matthew Crisp vice-captain, Darren Handley and Deric Taylor all selected.
BG: You were lured back to Myrtleford in 1983 but you are not the biggest name recruited after Gary Ablett signs with the Saints?
BH: Ablett was obviously a big signing but Peter Ruscuklic was also a brilliant full forward. He kicked 213 goals in a season for East Sydney in the Sydney Football league.
BG: That's a fair effort?
BH: Ruscuklic at one stage kicked 505 goals in three seasons, with a sequence of 136, 156 and 213 goals from 1979 to 1981 before joining the Saints. He won the Doug Strang medal in 1983 with 76 goals.
BG: You boasted a handy side that season?
BH: Greg Nichols was centre half-forward, Peter Light was centre half-back so we had a terrific spine and is probably the best side I played in. The younger guys coming through were Ian Wales, Steve Martin and Bob McNamara.
BG: What are your memories of Ablett?
BH: Gary was a bit of a recluse and stuck to himself a fair bit. He used to train a fair bit by himself but he boasted a good physique.
BG: Was he as physical then as during his time at Geelong?
BH: I remember we played Lavington during the season and Ablett lined-up Bruce Stewart who was regarded as one of their best players. Ablett ran off the square at the centre bounce and cleaned him up a couple of times. Bruce seemed to spend a fair amount of time on the pine that match because he didn't like the attention he was receiving from Ablett.
BG: One of your teammates Greg Nichols was a victim of a prank that season?
BH: A few of us decided to put a firecracker on the battery in his car, so when he started it the spark would set the cracker alight.
BG: Was your prank a success?
BH: We thought we had killed him at the time. Once the cracker went off he didn't move for ages but he was just a bit shocked by the noise.
BG: Geoff Mitchell was also a bit of a joker?
BH: He rocked up to footy training one night wearing gumboots with footy stops, it was that wet.
BG: It was a bizarre preliminary final that year against Albury at Wangaratta?
BH: Terry 'Woolly'' Doolan was watching his brother Steve play for Albury. Steve gets into a scuffle with Robbie Wright and next thing 'Woolly' jumps the fence and tries to sort Robbie out for fighting with his brother.
BG: You think it had a huge bearing on the result that day?
BH: I think Albury were in front by a couple of points when it happened and Geoff Mitchell was in space on our half-forward line and charging towards goal. The umpire sees 'Woolly' on the ground so blows his whistle and takes the ball back to Albury's half-forward line and bounces the ball. Albury scored a goal and ended up winning.
BG: So do you blame 'Woolly' for Myrtleford losing the preliminary final?
BH: Yes I do. I think from memory 'Woolly' copped a long suspension for being out on the ground as a spectator.
BG: The following season in 1984 you joined Yackandandah as coach?
BH: I was working in Albury and living in Myrtleford and they didn't have a coach after winning the flag the previous year. The committee told me that most of the players had re-signed but there ended up being a mass exodus that year.
BG: You regret your decision to join Yackandandah?
BH: I just wish they told the truth about how many players were leaving so I could have tried to recruit a few more.
BG: In 1985 you joined North Albury to play under your father-in-law Martin Cross?
BH: I played alongside my brother-in-laws in Graeme Connelly, Ross Hynes, Tony Thompson and Peter Thompson. Young Marty Cross Jnr also played that year.
BG: You tangled with big, bad, Brendan 'Bundy' Cornell during the season who was playing for Corowa-Rutherglen?
BH: Big 'Bundy' was a massive unit in his prime and used his body very well in more ways than one. But he was a talented player and a prodigious kick of the football.
BG: But you did tangle with him?
BH: Yeah, it was funny. I gave him one and he tried to square me up. I could hear him coming from behind but I ducked and dropped the shoulder and flipped him over the top of me and made him look like a goose.
BG: How did he react?
BH: That was a pre-season match but the first time we played we had another stoush and he planted a headbutt on me. It wasn't the first time I had been headbutted and Bob Craig also got me when I was at Myrtleford.
BG: Was it awkward in any way having your father-in-law as coach?
BH: It was if I got dragged or dropped because his daughter would then get stuck into him for dropping her husband.
BG: Cross had five daughters who are passionate supporters?
BH: When the five girls get together, my advice to opposition supporters is to move away from them. To put it politely, they were very vocal.
BG: In 1986 North Albury and Lavington met in the grand final?
BH: We played in the preliminary final and Rudy Yonson and myself got injured. My brother-in-law Tony Thompson got reported and was rubbed out for the decider.
BG: You rolled your ankle?
BH: I got through training and had an injection on the morning of the game. But I did my ankle again during the first quarter and was on the pine for the rest of the game. Yonson was also no good and was sitting beside me for the last three quarters.
BG: Lavington had the grand final won at the first break leading eight goals to one?
BH: Yeah we ended up losing by about 10 goals.
BG: The following year in 1987 you crossed to Wodonga Demons as coach and played in the Tallangatta league?
BH: John Perry who I rate as a fantastic bloke was instrumental in getting me to the club. I only lived 400m from Birallee Park and was probably at the end of my O&M career.
BG: You cherish your time at Birallee Park?
BH: It was a fantastic experience and it was a terrific family club with great supporters.
BG: You landed some handy recruits?
BH: Ian Butler and Marty Garoni followed me from North Albury. They already had the nucleus of a good side with Ross and Scott Hedley and Paddy O'Shea who is the most awkward fullback I have seen.
BG: You trained the side exceptionally hard that season?
BH: I used to like running and over the pre-season it wasn't unusual to go for a 8km run in 40 degree heat.
BG: There were some handy juniors emerging through the ranks?
BH: Nic Conway, Phil Partington and Gavin Chesser were in the juniors at the time.
BG: You play Mitta United in the second semi-final and you are fortunate not to be reported?
BH: I was playing centre half-forward and Eddie Wright was my opponent. Eddie didn't mind a skirmish and we were having a bit of a scuffle off the ball. The local news was filming the match and had footage of us throwing a few punches. They showed the incident on the Monday night and I thought we would both be reported for sure.
BG: Eddie got sent off?
BH: Yeah but there were no reports at the time.
BG: Wodonga Demons won the match, don't tell me you missed the decider?
BH: I had a few sleepless nights but nothing ever happened. I thought if we went to the tribunal we would have copped a couple of weeks each.
BG: You meet Mitta in the grand final?
BH: It was funny at the time but we played Scott Hedley who was only 16 on his brother-in-law Peter Ohlin.
BG: Ross 'Chuck' Hedley suffered concussion in an unsavoury off-the-ball incident?
BH: 'Chuck' was running down the wing and a Mitta player came off the bench and cleaned him up. The player involved got six weeks at the tribunal.
BG: Mitta paid for the match to be recorded and had their own commentators?
BH: I think they paid $400 to have it professionally done and we ended up getting a copy for $40 because they didn't want it after we won.
BG: No doubt there would have been some interesting commentary on the video by the Mitta commentators?
BH: You can't help but laugh at some of the stuff on there. When 'Chuck' got cleaned up on the wing, the commentary was 'Hedley must have instigated that.'
BG: The commentators also take a pot-shot at your ruckman Mick Murphy?
BH: Mick is contesting a hit-out in the forward pocket and you hear the commentators say 'look at Murphy, the big fat bastard.'
BG: Greg Frampton also copped it?
BH: Greg was playing on a wing and was running through the middle and there was a contested ball and he sort of stopped as he got to the contest. The commentators didn't miss him and said 'Frampton might want to check his dacks after that.'
BG: Despite being concussed 'Chuck' comes back onto the ground after being hit?
BH: You watch the video and 'Chuck' was flying for marks and the ball wasn't even near him. I know concussion is a serious issue now but that's how footy was back then.
BG: You win the grand final by a goal and have the honour of being Wodonga Demons' first premiership coach?
BH: I rate the honour as one of the highlights of my career.
BG: You coached again the following year in 1988?
BH: We lost quite a few players over the summer and missed playing finals. The club got accepted into the O&M the following year in 1989.
BG: You decided to head to Tallangatta in 1989 as coach?
BH: Tallangatta was another fantastic club that I thoroughly enjoyed my time at.
BG: You were able to land a few recruits?
BH: Ian Butler and Marty Garoni both followed me there. We had a good spine with big Andy Whitsed and Brendan Attree also playing. There were some good locals in Dave Healy, Jon Thomas and Karl Elliott,
BG: Karl Elliott is well-known for his nickname 'Nutter'?
BH: It's an appropriate nickname and he would be one of the maddest players I have played alongside.
BG: You played Holbrook in the second semi-final?
BH: We got flogged by eight goals. They had some star players in Ross Hillary, Neville Lampe and Laurie McInnes.
BG: You were able to turn things around in the grand final?
BH: We won by eight goals. Holbrook was gobbing off before the decider that we were too old because we had Con Madden, Greg Woods, Barney Brown, Ian Butler and myself who were in our mid-thirties.
BG: It was an against the odds grand final victory after you copped plenty of injuries early in the match?
BH: Greg Lawrence broke his leg in the first five minutes and we also lost Dave Healy with a dislocated elbow shortly after. Mark McSweeney did his hamstring in the second quarter but couldn't go off because we didn't have a bench. So he stayed on and kicked four goals from a forward pocket in one of the most unbelievable finals performances I have seen.
BG: You obviously also played against McSweeney?
BH: McSweeney was one of the opposition you would always love to hate. But when you play with him and get to know him, he is a fantastic bloke and highly talented player. McSweeney trained hard but it's no secret he partied hard as well.
BG: Have you got any favourite stories about Barney Brown?
BH: I remember he was playing fullback and wanted to do drop kicks when he was kicking out during the year but I banned him from doing it. So he did one in the grand final when we couldn't get beat. He didn't really get onto it but it still made it to the wing.
BG: Barney tangled with the Mitta runner during the year?
BH: Barney got sent off and was running towards the bench, so the Mitta runner decided to give him a bit of lip. So Barney went over and gave him a bit of a tap. The Mitta runner ended up getting two years at the tribunal.
BG: The following year in 1990, you played Culcairn in the grand final?
BH: Culcairn were too good for us that year. 'Boogie' Moore bobbed up with a few hangers late in the match and was probably the difference. Neville Hensel was also a class player and did well to coach a side that was predominantly locals.
BG: You retired after the grand final loss?
BH: I did and I built a house at Gerogery and moved out there. Henty couldn't get a coach in 1991 so I said I would coach for a year to help them out.
BG: How did you enjoy the Swampies?
BH: It was another fantastic footy club with a lot of good people involved who made us feel welcome.
BG: How did you find the Hume league?
BH: It probably didn't suit me, the big grounds. I was used to the Tallangatta league where the grounds are smaller and it's a bit more physical.
BG: The opposition crowds used to love to hate you in the Hume league?
BH: Because I was used to the physical nature of the Tallangatta league, I cleaned a few opposition players up in the Hume league. I would love a dollar for every time I was called a dirty mongrel.
BG: You played the twilight of your career for North Albury reserves?
BH: I went back to Bunton Park and coached the reserves for a couple of seasons?
BG: You won a best and fairest?
BH: It took to until the end of my career and I think I was 37 but I finally won one.
BG: How many matches do you think you played?
BH: I'm not sure but it would have to be close to 400.
BG: No doubt the flags are the highlight?
BH: Being the first and only premiership coach at Wodonga Demons is definitely something that I cherish. But playing in a flag at Tallangatta was also special.
BG: One of the Wodonga Demons supporters handed you $700 after you won the flag?
BH: It was a kind gesture so I decided to take all the players, committee and their wives to The Stump Hotel for tea the week after the grand final.
BG: You crossed paths with a few Mitta players that you had just beat in the grand final?
BH: It was funny we shouted them a few beers because we had a tab going on behind the bar. But once the money ran out, they wanted to fight us. I wasn't involved but there were a few punches thrown.
BG: Have you got any regrets?
BH: I probably just wish I concentrated on my football a bit more when I was younger and played a few more matches in the O&M. But other than that, not really.
BG: You obviously played at more clubs than most, who do you consider you home club?
BH: In O&M it is North Albury and it's a bit of a toss up between Wodonga Demons and Tallangatta.
BG: You had a stint as North Albury president as well when Ernie Whitehead was coach?
BH: Yeah, some people used to jokingly call it the Bert and Ernie show.