Smile concealed deep pain

Confused, Ms McFarland returned to her East Albury home to wait for a police officer, who said her daughter, Lainy, had taken her life – at the age of only 22.

Ms McFarland was shocked as Lainy was excelling in her veterinary science studies at CSU’s Wagga campus and was supporting herself financially. 

“We had seen her three days prior. She was happy, smiling, having a great day. And then three days later we get the news,” she said.

Lainy had been diagnosed with depression, but nobody realised the extent of her condition before her death on May 25.

“She had what they call smiling depression, high-functioning depression, which is dangerous,” Ms McFarland said.

Having moved to the Border from Texas a decade ago, Lainy attended Albury High School before relocating to Wagga.

It was clear she had touched many in her short life, reflected in the 200 people who attended her funeral.

Ms McFarland held back tears as she described feelings of grief compounded by guilt over her daughter’s death.

“For a while I blamed myself, I kept thinking if I’d called her that day, or did this or done that,” she said.

“But now I think she was seeing a GP, she was taking the right steps. 

“Something must’ve been overwhelming her. I thought it was being managed, at no point did I think she was suicidal.”

Ms McFarland was in talks with CSU’s school of veterinary science to create an annual prize for second year students to honour Lainy’s memory.

But Lainy’s deep connection to animals was not confined to her studies - she volunteered extensively at a shelter for stray cats in West Albury. 

Already $6000 has been raised to build a new outdoor cat enclosure for the centre, which will be fittingly named Lainy’s Place.

Shelter worker Rae Smith reserved special praise for Lainy. 

“She was a very warm, giving person. You felt very at ease with her,” she said.

“It’s so sad.”

To donate, visit gofundme.com/lainymcfarland.