CFA operations officer Terry Heafield’s anxiety was so crippling a passing car would cause him to worry.
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“It was as if the weight of the world was on my shoulders, and I didn’t know how to get out of it,” he said.
Eventually he hit rock bottom and was hospitalised with depression.
Three years later after seeking help he wants his fellow CFA colleagues to know support is always there.
“The CFA is a very male-dominated workplace,” he said.
“Firefighters are sometimes put on a pedestal for being heroes.
“To have a dint in your armour can be seen as a little bit negative.”
Mr Heafield has decided to embark on a 2500-kilometre bike ride from his home in Wodonga to CFA fire stations around Victoria, openly discussing depression and anxiety.
“I’m not looking for sympathy, but I’m looking to explain some of the techniques that I used to help get through,” he said.
“Also helping those who do need help, to point them in the right direction. It doesn’t matter where they get it, as long as they get the help they need.”
Starting on Sunday, Mr Heafield will visit 43 stations around the state until August 21.
He thought his mental health problems were triggered by managing high-stress situations such as bushfires, house fires, rescues and horror car accidents.
“There’s been incidents that have affected me through work, well and truly,” he said.
And Mr Heafield’s depression and anxiety is ongoing.
“I’m still on anti-depressants and if I have to be on them for the rest of my life, so be it,” he said.
“As long as I can still function and get on with my life.”
Mr Heafield said this year’s CFA dispute with the Victorian government about a proposed union takeover did add a sense of unease. “I think it did have an impact, it had an impact on myself,” he said.
“I started not to sleep, and my wife started to worry about how I was behaving.
“It definitely had an impact on the workforce – there’s been a lot of real uncertainty within the organisation.
“Many senior people resigned.”
To support Mr Heafield on his mission, visit facebook.com/Dontdoitalone2016.
- For help or information, call Lifeline on 131 114 or beyondblue on 1300 224 636