Every Friday night, while the town ate boring fish, Paddy would be in his backyard roasting pig on a spit with the sumptuously tempting smell of pork driving the rest of the town to tears. 

The townspeople begged Paddy to convert and after many years of begging God and Paddy, Paddy the Pagan agreed to become a Catholic and put the townspeople out of their Friday nights of misery. 

Paddy’s baptism brought the whole now-joyous town to the church. 

The priest raised his hand over Paddy and prayed loudly “Paddy, you’ve been a pagan all your life, you were born a pagan, you’ve grown up a pagan, but from this day forward you are a Catholic!” 

The people cheered and breathed a sigh of relief.

The following Friday night the townspeople can’t believe their nostrils. 

Paddy is back in his backyard, cooking up yet another pig on a spit. 

As the townspeople peer over Paddy’s fence they see Paddy with his hand raised over the pig on a spit praying loudly “Pig, you’ve been a pig all your life, you were born a pig, you’ve grown up a pig, but from this day forward you are a fish!”

There’s something to be said for the concept “perception equals reality” or “what you focus on becomes your reality”. 

I’ve been crashing motorbikes since I was a teenager, but a few years back I had to do a “learn to ride” course if I wanted to ride motorbikes on the road; legally that is. 

While on this learn to ride course I took a corner too fast and took out half the witches hats. My instructor shouted “You stared right at those witches hats mate! That’s why you ran over them!” 

I protested “I had to! I was heading straight for them!”. 

Then he explained something priceless that went something like this: “Fix your eyes on where you want to be, and your bike will end up there.

“If you come to a sharp corner, don’t look at the wall or you’ll smash straight into it.

“That’s why people come off the road and hit the only tree for 100 metres; they were looking at that tree.

“Look at the road you want to be on and that’s where your bike will end up.”  

A few months later I was out in the middle of nowhere hooning around on my new fifth-hand motorbike, when suddenly there was a sharp bend in the road on a cliff, which is not a real smart place to be putting a cliff! 

Seriously, as my motorbike careered towards the cliff, after staring at the approaching cliff briefly, I thankfully remembered what the instructor said and looked at the road where I wanted to go and before I knew it, that’s where I was.

Last month the British Prime Minister Theresa May announced that she was giving up crisps for Lent, so I don’t feel so childish now for giving up chocolate and “some” lollies. 

But when you give up chocolate you’re actually focusing on chocolate, which is part of the sacrifice I guess.

Mother Theresa said “I will never attend an anti-war rally; if you have a peace rally, invite me.” 

She understood that what you focus on becomes your reality. 

As Jesus said “Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe you have already received it, and it will be yours.”

FATHER BRENDAN LEE