Anti-family violence advocate Rosie Batty has made an impassioned plea for people to stop blaming victims of domestic violence.
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Addressing the Royal Commission into Family Violence, Ms Batty, the current Australian of the Year, said too often people asked what the victim could have done to prevent their abuse from happening, as opposed to questioning why the offender committed the crime.
"We don't realise we do it ... raising questions like, 'Why doesn't she leave?' when in fact that is a pivotal time that you can be murdered," she said. "We should really be considering the perpetrator's behaviour, that we actually spend most of our time discussing and criticising and judging the victim, [while] the perpetrator remains out of conversation and discussion.
"Why would that be, that we place the onus of safety onto the victim's shoulders, expecting them to seek refuge and hide and find safety rather than looking at the perpetrator's behaviour and getting them to stop being violent."
She said when women came forward for help, many struggled with not being believed or trusted by support services and the legal system.
"We have to work on being believed and that somehow the perpetrator can very frequently and very often turn families, friends and children against the victim," she said. "It's really quite astonishing how we have this view that somehow we are exaggerating or lying, and it can't quite be true."
Ms Batty's 11-year-old son Luke was murdered by his father after cricket practice in Tyabb, south-east of Melbourne, in February 2014.
She also pushed for schools to play a greater role in educating students about family violence, such as demonstrating gender equality and healthy relationships, "not just a ... video that is stuck in a recorder and we all go and watch it and go off and continue to do what we have always done".
She said it needed to be in every school in every state, from as young as kindergarten, "so we can start to influence and counteract the culture of, what I would say, would be a huge influence on young people's minds which is most undoubtedly the gaming culture, where obviously violence and inappropriate views of sex and all of those things are filtered into a young person's mind".
For help, call the Sexual Assault, Domestic Family Violence Counselling Service on 1800 737 732 or go to www.1800respect.org.au.
We have to work on being believed and that somehow the perpetrator can very frequently and very often turn families, friends and children against the victim
- Rosie Batty
