The rowdiest voices now needed in the intractable debate about childcare and work are those of men. There will be no true equality between the sexes until men as bosses stop assuming caring is women's work, and until men as carers can meet family responsibilities without being seen as underachieving bludgers.
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Take Joe Hockey, whose parliamentary valedictory carried an apology of sorts to his son. "Last Monday was Iggy's sixth birthday and I've missed every single one of his birthdays," the former treasurer said. "I won't miss another one."
It carried a message for the rest of us, too. No job should be worth an appalling record like that, not even a senior one in national politics. Missing one birthday of a child is forgivable, perhaps two. But six in a row?
It is not hard to find a reason why one of the most powerful people in Australia felt he couldn't manage to shift his work around to make time for his son.
When he did make time for his family, he was lambasted for missing work. Taking his family on holiday to Fiji made it onto a list of "Joe Hockey's most cringe-worthy gaffes as he tries to sell the budget". It was included as number nine: "Then there was the week in Fiji during the critical first week of the new Senate."
There's always a critical week in politics, and of all the things Hockey did as Treasurer, having a short family break is the one bearing the least resemblance to a gaffe.
Despite that, his office felt the need to justify what we should find entirely normal and proper. His spokesman said to news.com.au, which published the gaffe list: "He's been at it pretty bloody hard since before the election and I think it's a well earned break".
It's enough to make you scream at the clouds: He was on leave! He's allowed to be! They have mobile reception in Fiji!
Attitudes like that should be infuriating for all, but especially for men who do not want to follow the traditional fatherhood route of working full-time and being only an occasional bedtime reader and soccer coach to the kids.
It's particularly galling in an era in which most people, I would guess, would now accept the proposition that men need as many choices in configuring work, family and life as women. It applies to those without children and those with many, although childcare is usually the unavoidable trigger for changing work hours.
Many working parents carry the unjustified guilt of a person who thinks they are not doing enough at work or at home or both, when most I see manage to do far more than their fair share.
Given their enduring dominance in executive row, men are critical to removing sex discrimination both as bosses, and as workers demanding the required flexibility to be a proper parent.
It is men who need to not just join the conversation, but do something about it.
Male bosses can use their power to give both men and women the freedom to choose to be the primary carer for their children, without fear of lack of advancement or prejudice because of it.
They are the ones who can emphasise results achieved over hours worked, to make work flexible, to reap the rewards of trusting your workers to do their jobs the way that works best for them while keeping their focus on what is more important: life.
It's not good enough to leave it to women to demand the tools to balance work and life. Men need to demand it too – for their workers, partners, and themselves.
