Once upon a time two dads took four of their six children to the Boxing Day Test in Melbourne.
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It was the 1980s and the Aussies met the Windies.
Alas all of the action was in the outfield; a complete stranger tried to snog my teenage friend in Bay 13 and the four kids – me included – got burnt to a crisp despite the newly-instituted Slip Slop Slap campaign.
It just wasn’t cricket and it has never been repeated since. For fun and games and show-stopping performances these days I like a sticky wicket closer to home in the annual Christmas Eve-Eve Test.
Day 1 (December 23)
It may be Year of the Monkey in 2016 but it was a canine Christmas this year.
My family on my husband's side has added to its brood: One golden retriever and a cavoodle in a plum seat (ie. My mother-in-law's lap). Sung to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas.
In the style of Hairy Maclary from Donaldson’s Dairy, Tilly the Cute Cavoodle was new on the scene after Buddy McB, respectively; Peppa la Plum and her brother Ziggy von Crumb edged out Polly Wally Strudel the lovely labradoodle.
Our labradoodle, who sported a pet cone after eye surgery, had the deft ability to take out any relative in the back of the knees, particularly hazardous when carrying booze. Howzat!!
My sister-in-law had stitched elf hats for the girl cousins: Holly la Tinsel, Snowy von Twinkle, Fluffy McSparkle, Peppy McSprinkle and Bubbles von Sugar Plum.
With the field set at Springdale Heights, it wasn’t a moment too soon to call for a Drinks Break.
Day 2 (December 24)
Sitting at the traffic lights on Borella Road, elf-in-training Holly la Tinsel was sobbing in the back seat, full of regret she had begged to go to church with her older sister Snowy von Twinkle and cousin Peppy McSprinkle.
As we had not yet even made it to the church, all I could do to play this googly was to pray for a shortish and sweet service.
Thanks be to Father Peter, he delivered one!
Day 3 (December 25)
Elves wake early, but not as early as dogs.
Santa brought pig’s ears for the canines and My Littlest Pet Shop for some of the elves. Fortunately, the bags did not get mixed up.
After a hot roast lunch with all of the trimmings Ziggy von Crumb lived up to his namesake as he scoured benchtops for leftovers. Polly took the lower extremities under the dining table but with the decided disadvantage of poor eyesight from cataracts and tunnel vision from the pet cone. This kept our lunch guests on their toes.
By 6pm the littlest elves hit the wall to the dulcet tones of: “She won’t give my scooter back, Jack!” Another timely Drinks Break.
Day 4 (Boxing Day)
Teams split into shoppers and non-shoppers. Non-shoppers, like me, took shelter in the outfield with books, magazines and lap dogs of every shape and size. A winning formula.
Day 5 (December 27)
Heading back up to the Christmas clubrooms home base mid-morning, our almost five-year-old Holly la Tinsel made this stunning declaration from silly mid on.
“When you’re a teenager you get all of your babies. Fluffy McSparkle said so.”
Lightning-quick, our eldest retorted: “Fluffy McSparkle is winding you up!”
Happy New Year dear readers and furry friends; may it be a very fetching one, full of fun and games!
