A New Year – a “clean slate”. This is the magical belief underpinning our New Year’s resolutions. We make resolutions to stop smoking, to drink less alcohol, to lose weight, to get fit, to spend more time focussing on the ‘big picture”, to commit to a relationship or many other promises to change our behaviour in some way beginning with great gusto in early January.
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The sad truth is that by the end of January, many of these resolutions have been broken – particularly when schools restart, businesses are back in full swing and life returns to its usual, hectic routine.
Formulating a New Year’s Resolution involves many interesting and complex human thoughts and emotional processes.
Firstly, there is the belief that a brand new year is a brand new start. There is a great deal of concrete thinking involved in thinking that we can simply pack the past year’s undesirable behaviours into a parcel, post it to some dark corner of our mind, and hope that it gets lost along the way. Having done this, we can enter the New Year and make new resolutions, attempting a “quick fix”. There is a huge dose of denial attached to this process of compartmentalisation. Resolutions made in this way are almost entirely guaranteed to fail by February.
Another common aspect of the New Year’s Resolution is the desire to change a habit or behaviour by making a pact or bond, that this year, things will be different. Such a pact may be made with oneself, family, friends or God – but often the pact is made nebulously with the New Year itself.
Do we think the New Year is some sort of mythical being that holds all the power, tantalisingly within our grasp? Do we truly believe that the New Year is challenging us to fail? Using this type of magical thinking, it may not really matter if we break our resolutions, since we made our promise to a vague concept – the New Year.
Then there are the very serious and important vows that are made on January 1 that refresh memories of loved ones who have been lost, or relate to significant responsibilities to be taken on. Similarly, people can experience significant grief and sadness as they reflect that a New Year is starting when the losses and issues of the previous year have not been resolved. Many people use the start of a New Year to draw a line under their loss and start work in earnest on the healing process.
The whole New Year is seen as an opportunity to make changes - using the past as a propellant to move forward. Vowing to make an integrated new beginning and starting on a symbolic date makes sense for many. This type of vow is deeper than the other types of New Year’s resolutions and often has a greater chance of success.
If you are considering making a New Year’s resolution to change a behaviour or habit, then some forward planning is a good idea to make it work. While January 1 is a common start date for the changed behaviour, it is the actual decision to make a change and planning how to do it that makes a successful resolution.
Starting with a planned, realistic approach plus a tangible timetable and real assistance from family, friends and professionals to change that habit or behaviour is much more likely to succeed. Be prepared to stutter in your progress rather than expecting to rocket smoothly and effortlessly towards your goal. It does not matter if you begin your New Year’s resolution on January 1, April 12 or any other day of the year, as long as you do begin and keep going.
