Lavington father Darryl Coventry was pressured by his parents to swim professionally growing up – but it was a hope shattered when he was raped at age 10 by a state surf lifesaving coach.
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Concealing his trauma, he didn’t tell anyone of the abuse until he was 18 and for many years his father blamed him for it.
But Darryl is using World Suicide Prevention Day on Saturday to send a message to those on the Border who may be struggling.
“Hope comes by changing the way you look at the world,” he said.
“Opinions are made by people based on their own experiences. What we need to do is somehow give ownership to a healthy person to have the ability to look outside the box and accept mental health issues are actually a normal part of society.”
Darryl worked his way out of his childhood trauma and moved from Adelaide to join Queensland Police, rising to the rank of sergeant.
But the job exposed him to more stress, working with disadvantaged Indigenous communities on the York peninsula.
He witnessed murder, often being the sole policeman in violent situations where help was more than 70 kilometres away.
“You can imagine some of the stuff I've seen,” he said.
“Since we've done a lot of therapy, what we've found is that the traumas and the memories that I take away from work tend to revert back and have a connection to what went on in my childhood.”
Legal proceedings for the rape commenced in 1999 but dragged on for years.
Darryl took to alcohol “like a duck to water” and regularly downed a litre of cask wine every night.
He attempted suicide four times and his best mate took his own life in 2003.
“I’ve been surrounded by suicide,” he said.
In the end, he received a paltry $10,000 in compensation from the South Australian government because the offence took place before laws were introduced to raise compensation to $50,000.
But now Darryl has moved to Albury to be with his children, where his ex-wife’s family lives.
“Me, as a responsible father, had no choice but to come down to be a part of my children’s lives,” he said. And it is in his young daughter and son where Darryl finds hope to keep his demons at bay.
“When my daughter looks at me – those eyes of pure admiration – and I need you, really grab onto my heart,” he said.
“For me, my parents weren’t there for me, but I’m going to be there for them.”
- For help or information, call Lifeline on 131 114 or beyondblue on 1300 224 636
