The former Albury woman fled to Queensland for her safety after the man she trusted smashed a dinner plate into her face.

“I was standing there, with blood squirting out of my face, and all he said was ‘Oh shit, I could go to jail for this’," she said.

“He wouldn’t call an ambulance until I said I wouldn’t tell on him.

“In the ambulance, I said I’d done it to myself.”

Ashley needed 36 stitches for the gash that left her skull exposed.

“When I got out of hospital, I started having panic attacks,” she said.

“It got to the point where I realised I didn't want him to have that power and I would do it over him – I tried to kill myself.

“I woke up in hospital a couple days later.”

Ashley decided to take out an apprehended violence order.

But Albury police couldn’t charge her abusive husband for the injuries he inflicted on her, telling her there wasn’t enough evidence.

“When it came to charging him with grievous bodily harm, it didn’t go anywhere, because I’d originally said I’d done it to myself,” she said.

“They had photos of injuries, statements from family and friends … I thought me saying he did it would be enough, but it wasn’t.”

Soon after, he broke the AVO, but received a $200 fine and no jail time.

“It was a kick in the teeth – I left Albury after that,” she said.

“I’ve found out a lot of things about him since I’ve left, and if I had known those things when I met him, I wouldn’t have become involved with him.”

Ashley knew early on in the relationship things weren’t quite right, but with the manipulation beginning just as early, she chose to stay after six years and a number of incidents.

“I don’t like giving up on things, but I think they also get in your head,” she said.

“It was the fact it (the abuse) wasn’t that bad at the start, and he made me feel like I deserved it.

“They make it seem like if you go anywhere else, they will find you, and I was worried about what he would do to my family.”

Ashley still worries about what he could do.

“I think he’s left it alone for the time being, but he has one of those personalities where he won’t let it go until he gets revenge,” she said.

“I want to cut ties.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about how to get back into work – I’m going to have to answer questions about why I’m here – I’m going to have to be honest.

“Not working is not helping, because I think about it all the time, or walk past the mirror and see my face.

“I feel like I’m damaged.”

Ashley is hopeful things will get better – she feels safer, and is confident she can start her life again.

“I always said if he hit me I’d be gone, but I let it go the first time, and the second time, and that should have been it,” she said.

“But no matter what they say, it’s not your fault.

“Something needs to be done –  there’s so much hype about prevention and people dying, but why are they (the perpetrators) still going?”

“I could have easily been the next person to die, and I took out an AVO against him, as many others have, and he’s still not in jail.

“Police told me I should have reported him ... it was a survival mechanism.”

The complex mix of emotions that clouds the decision to leave also makes domestic violence call-outs difficult to navigate for police.

While Albury Chief Inspector Kim Sorensen could not comment on Ashley’s case, he said police faced a challenge in collating enough evidence to present a case to the court.

“We are heavily reliant on the victim to provide that information ... as well as physical evidence that our police attending the scene can see – it may be a damaged wall that’s consistent with the information the victim has provided us,” he said.

“The best thing they (victims and bystanders) can do is to advise police of what they see and hear, journal that themselves, take photos and contact a domestic violence liaison officer.

“The liaison officer can then make discreet contact … and hopefully build a prosecutable case from that point on.

“If we don’t get evidence from the scene on the day that its takes place, it can bring into play reasonable doubt.

“That doubt is very difficult to overcome.”

Inspector Sorensen said the emphasis needed to be on community awareness.

“The best thing we can do is educate victims and potential victims before an offence takes place,” he said.

“It’s an awful position to be in, but I want to suggest to people to seek assistance at the earliest opportunity through domestic violence liaison officers.

“You are increasing your opportunity to stop whatever the situation is before it becomes a criminal offence, and that should be everyone’s goal; not to lock up a perpetrator, but to prevent the situation where he or she becomes a perpetrator.”

Preventing domestic violence is a key aim of White Ribbon, and thanks to the passion of one Border woman, the organisation will have almost $9500 it didn’t before to support those efforts.

Hairdresser Zoe Wilde raised the money through a ball and Run Melbourne, deciding to act after hearing too many stories like Ashley’s.

“I had so many women come up to me on the night telling me ... they had a personal connection to domestic violence with either themselves, mothers, daughters or girlfriends,” she said.

Mrs Wilde said without her husband Luke, friend Michelle Howard, and all the Border businesses and guests involved, the event wouldn’t have been a success.

“I am so humbled by the support I have received along the way of this journey,” she said.

“My plan for the future is to continue to support women in need, and to educate where possible about domestic violence and how we all can stand together and help.

“I will support local events who are raising funds and awareness as well as act to help women who confide in me in my salon to get them out of the dangerous situation by guiding them to safety networks available.”

If you or anyone you know needs help, call 1800 Respect (1800 737 732).

*Name has been changed for identity protection.