So, I messed up.
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I’ve been budgeting wrong for the past 10 years. Or at least since I’ve been earning pocket money.
It turns out when you do a budget you’re supposed to calculate the money you WOULD be spending in the next month and ‘budget’ for it - who would have thought, hey?
I was doing it the wrong way around; I was spending all my money, then writing out what I spent it on, and then getting under the table to cry in the foetal position.
And this is why I can’t have nice things.
However, it wasn’t a big waste of time to reflect on what I had spent in the last month, because it literally scared me into saving.
I wrote down EVERYTHING I had spent my hard-earned cash on; I didn’t lie to myself like I had done in the past and mysteriously ‘forget’ the fact I dropped $100 on a hair treatment.
I wrote down $4 coffees, I wrote down $100 massages, I even wrote down money I spent when I was slightly tipsy at after-work drinks.
I held my breath, I got my calculator, I crunched the numbers.
‘I spent THAT MUCH on food?!’ was my initial thought followed by my deep concern it seemed I was just using my debit card to chase shiny things constantly.
And I chased them with pure unabandoned disregard for any financial consequences.
Look, I’ve never been a good saver. And that’s been my excuse for living a pay-to-pay existence.
I justify my spendings with ‘treat yourself!’ or ‘it was on sale!’ or ‘you’ve gotta spend money to make money’… The last one makes no sense when you consider most of my money is spent on cappuccinos.
When everyone started reading The Barefoot Investor, I teased my friends for drinking the Kool-Aid.
But the joke was on me. And apparently my superannuation.
According to Money Smart, 27 per cent of people break their financial resolutions because of “lack of willpower” – fair enough – but where’s the stat for people who have never made a financial resolution? IDK.
So, what are some budgeting tips from a budgeting tragic?
- Actually create the budget: Simple! Right?! Ignorance is not bliss when you drop $500 on beauty products (sorry mum). Do the budget. As Ice Cube so wisely said ‘check yourself before you wreck yourself’.
- When you go out for food, have a pre-dinner snack: a nutritional tip disguised as a financial tip! Clever. I have learnt, as an avid café goer, if you go out for a meal and you are really hungry – you will order the entire menu. I did this on Saturday morning with a ‘build your own breakfast’. I added so many extras that I ‘accidentally’ dropped $40 on eggs. Rookie mistake. Eat a couple of savoys before you go, trust me.
- Trick your unsuspecting brain into saving cash: The only way I’m going to save is a ‘set and forget’ approach. Because it’s likely I will actually forget about it. If you get an automatic payment to go into an account you can’t touch, voila, you have a lot of peanuts by the end of the year. Merry Christmas.
- Talk to rich people and/or someone who knows how to save: you know the saying about how you’ll never get good at tennis if you play against people on the same level? Same applies to saving! So, next time you’re waiting for the kettle to boil in the tea room, ask your work colleague ‘how great is money?’ and gauge their response. Great conversation starter and you might learn something like… I dunno... the stock market ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I was doing it the wrong way around; I was spending all my money, then writing out what I spent it on, and then getting under the table to cry in the foetal position.
Money is daunting and can be overwhelming, and that’s why I pretty much covered my ears and shouted ‘LALALALA’ to anyone who ever tried to talk to me about saving.
Now that I’ve made modest attempts to at least start figuring it out, I wish I had done it sooner.
They say money can’t buy you happiness, but it does feel good to have a civil relationship with it, and not be so crippled with anxiety checking your bank account balance.
Happy spending! Saving!
Riley-Rose Harper can be heard on Hit 104.9 from 6-9am on weekdays.
