The co-founder of Collective Shout spoke to year 10s at a forum hosted by Albury and Wodonga councils and other partners, building from the LoveBites program.

"We will not see a dent in violence statistics if we don't address the cultural nominalisation of that violence," she said.

"Our girls are learning they need to be thin, hot and sexy, and our boys are learning they should be callous, brutal and dominant.

"They often see the bad guys get rewarded - rap artists that sing anti-woman lyrics, sport stars that do the wrong thing and still get praised - it's very hard for our boys to navigate this culture to understand what it is to be respectful and empathetic."

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Ms Tankard Reist said there needed to be better regulation of porn sites and the eradication of 'pornified' advertising and messaging such as that promoted by Wicked Campers.

"We're calling on our newly-elected government to follow the UK model; at least verify a person is 18 before allowing entry to a porn site," she said.

"The statistics around sexual violence in Australia are deeply disturbing ... we've seen a quadrupling of child-on-child sexual assault.

"We have to act collectively to address porn culture."

She urged parents to lead by example and have the whole family put away their phones before bed, think critically about how they speak to daughters and sons, and focus on achievements and health rather than looks, for themselves and their children.

Following the author's presentation, boys and girls were split up into separate sessions run by Reach.

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Shane Martin of Wodonga police hoped giving youth positive strategies would enable a "generational shift".

"We hope these messages drive the behaviours and expectations they grow up with," he said.

Tallangatta High School year 10 student Megan Gouge, 16, said it was "eye-opening".

"You go on Instagram and see all these people that have the perfect body," she said.

"They're making you feel this is what's right, and it's not."