Recently, I had a good laugh when a student mentioned to me that some students thought I was too happy - probably one of the nicest complements I have had in recent memory, although it may not have been meant as a complement?
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I even have a happy card box in my office where people can pick a card to get their happy message for the day. Speaking of the yellow smiley face we so often see and use ... well, I know I use it a fair bit. This may be due to the fact the person who came up with this emoji was Harvey Ball, a native of my home town of Worcester, Massachusetts.
As a college counsellor, I felt it was time to spread some of my Harvey Ball happy face to all of you, who may be feeling somewhat anxious, in the following way.
Be gentle on yourselves during these crazy and uncertain times. The more you allow negativity in the more stress and anxiety you will have. Focus on the things you can do for yourself, rather than on what "others" may not be doing or out of our control.
Maybe start by not listening or watching the news, online or otherwise. We fuel the negativity fire by buying into the bombardment of media. Having extensive marketing expertise and a PhD in understanding people's behaviours, I know firsthand how to manipulate people's opinions. We can be easily manipulated for the thirst of what is occurring now, when in reality once we hear or see that information, nothing actually has changed. Stay strong, don't give into the pressures of negative press - we cannot control what we cannot control.
The events of this past summer and now the coronavirus have taken a toll on all of us; we are all tired and I, for all of us, will acknowledge and affirm this.
Our spirits should remain and sustain us, as we are all in this together. We are a family community and this is what families do: support each other, lift those spirits and pat each other on the back for all the great work we do every day.
Some of you, like myself, have children, so you are being torn as a parent and a professional. You need to know - and this is important - to look after you first, because if you are not 100 per cent then you will not be there for your kids. Hard, but a true reality.
Once you put yourself into this mindset, you will be invincible and the two will no longer be pulling you apart, but rather you will seamlessly blend the two together.
We are a family community and this is what families do: support each other, lift those spirits and pat each other on the back for all the great work we do every day.
When I was in the process of obtaining my psychology degree, one of my psych professors, Dr Bob Saisi, was one of those special people who cross your path on your journey of life and make a profound, positive impact. Dr Bob had this unique ability to heal people as well as a very intuitive presence about him. When we, as young academics, were in need of support due to the demands of obtaining a degree, we sought out Dr Bob who would give us a big hug and, within a short time, all our worries of the world seemed to melt away. Sadly, in this day and age touching has become taboo, so in order to receive a very special gift of a big Dr Bob hug, here is what I want you to do.
1. Close your eyes, it doesn't matter the time or place, but sit still with your eyes closed. (lights on/off etc is not so important)
2. Begin to visualise a very special person in your life, past or present, who is giving you a big Dr Bob hug.
3. Allow yourself to "feel" their presence - that warm, gentle and caring embrace.
4. Begin to feel your stresses disappear as you are being nurtured and healed from within. Sit with this feeling for as long as you need or want to be hugged.
5. Once you are feeling somewhat relieved, slowly open your eyes, ready to now take on whatever life has to throw at you.
6. Repeat this as often as required, because in the end there isn't anything better than a very special gift of a big Dr Bob hug - I had one today!
So let's focus on the good things in life, the things that work and less on the negative or the things that do not work.
If you are feeling a little anxious about life, my advice is to just start talking to your family, friends or colleagues - they may be anxious too.
You will feel better and you may find support where you may least expect it.
Dr Anthony Perrone is college counsellor at Trinity Anglican College. The views expressed are Dr Perrone's and not necessarily those of Trinity Anglican College.
