Danny 'Ditch' Steel has never played in a premiership or won a best and fairest.
But the former Bethanga and Wodonga Saints larrikin reckons he has a piece of history all to himself - he's been on 34 end of season football trips.
The 60-year-old caught up with The Border Mail at his old Bethanga stomping ground this week.
BRETT KOHLHAGEN: Growing up in Wodonga, how did you find your way to the Bethanga Football Club?
DANNY STEEL: Gary Ziebell and Dicky Burrows were playing out here. I thought I'd come out because I wasn't doing much at all. Most blokes my age back then were either married or had girlfriends and that wasn't for me yet. I came out, loved it and kept playing with Bethanga or Wodonga Saints until 2009.
BK: You had to earn your first senior game didn't you?
DS: It took me a fair while (laughs). I started playing at Bethanga in 1983 and cracked my first game when I was 37 in 1997.
BK: Do you remember the coach breaking the news?
DS: 'Humpa' (Danny Humpage) who was the assistant coach actually told me. They were going through the team on the Thursday night which was casserole night. It was always a big night. I thought he was joking and I just said: 'Good one mate'. Then when I realised he was fair dinkum I thought you bloody beauty but I soon started shitting myself as well.
BK: Why so many nerves?
DS: I knew Mick (Griffiths) was a pretty hard coach and if you stuffed up he would get into you. I remember going out against Dederang thinking 'don't f... up'. I didn't do too badly. Another thing in my favour was that it was my 200th club game so they probably thought they would look after me. We had a huge night at the pub. It was a ripper with a lot of old teammates coming out.
BK: Was that the highlight of your footy career?
DS: I'm pretty proud of my 200th game. To tell you the truth though I'm actually really proud of going on 34 end of season footy trips. I haven't heard of anyone going on more. I asked Barnawartha's Dale Bownds, who played a lot more footy than me, if he'd been on that many and he said he hadn't.
BK: Best trip?
DS: We went to Tasmania for a week on the boat which was a standout. I've been to Canberra, Bendigo, Echuca and Melbourne and heaps of other places. Another standout one though was when we didn't have much money one year so we went to the Bethanga Pub for the weekend. Geez that was a big weekend.
BK: Most embarrassing moment?
DS: There has been plenty of them, but in my first game Brian Manzie was coaching the reserves. It was mid-season against Kiewa at Kiewa. I finally came off the bench just before half-time and miscalculated the ball something chronic. I went one way and the ball went the other and straight into the arms of a Kiewa player. They ran it up the ground and kicked a goal. I remember Brian Manzie standing in the middle of the ground and yelling out: 'Get him the f... off the ground'.
BK: Not happy then?
DS: I thought how am I going to get away with this so I just hid among all the players coming off the ground. I don't think I got back on the ground for another five rounds.
BK: I know a lot of footballers who would have sooked up in those circumstances. Were you dirty?
DS: Not at all. I knew I was a hack and thought I did well to get a game. It never worried me being on the bench at the least. Some blokes used to whinge but I couldn't understand what they were complaining about.
BK: You played 283 games for Bethanga/Wodonga Saints, spent two seasons with Nambour and have racked up 59 for the Murray Crays. That's a few games?
DS: I remember being named on the bench in The Border Mail for my first 50 games. Nic Conway always stirred me up about being on the bench so much. He reckons I can't say I played 283 games when I was on the bench most of the time. He says it only added up to 12 quality games. I told him we can't all be top Ovens and Murray players.
BK: A lot of people associate you with the bench don't they?
DS: Bloody oath they do. During one game at Bethanga I remember Dave Lefoe and myself scratching our names on the side of the small interchange shed. I just wrote: 'Reserved. Ditch'.
BK: You had long hair with a big bushy beard when you played so I can imagine some opposition thought you liked a punch up. Was that the case?
DS: No way (laughs). There was a game against Tallangatta though when a scuffle broke out. I came in and fell on top of a bloke who was lying on the ground with the ball. I was trying to get up when I saw this fist come over my shoulder and hit him in the head. Anyway, this Tallangatta bloke thought it was me and started shouting: 'Ditch, you f..... mongrel' and everything under the sun. I tried to explain it wasn't me but he's had a set on me ever since.
BK: You mentioned before Bethanga has had some good coaches like Peter Cross, Ross Hedley, Terry Smith, Phil Summerfield., Brian Manzie, Simon Hore and Peter Star. You would have heard some dummy spits?
DS: We were playing Kiewa one day and they were pretty strong. Bethanga led all day and lost by two goals. Mick Griffiths walked into the rooms and turned to the plaster sheeting on the wall and went crack with his fist. It went straight through, hit a nail and he couldn't move his hand. After he'd given the players a spray, he slowly pulled his hand out and said: 'See what I do for you blokes, I draw blood'. The nail went right through his hand.
BK: You played in a few big losses didn't you?
DS: My fair share that's for sure.Russell Heather was coaching Bethanga's reserves one day against Holbrook and we were getting flogged on a really cold day. He gave us a bottle of Stones at half-time and told us to share it around. We thought that was great. It didn't help though, we still got flogged.
BK: You are a life member of Bethanga and Wodonga Saints and have done everything from being secretary to writing the club's history. Why did you decide to form the Murray Crays?
DS: Phil Summerfield, Billy Smith, Brian Moss and myself got it going in 2009. The Crays are fantastic for mental health and things like that. I went through a bit of stuff for a while and the Crays just get blokes out and about for a while each week.
BK: Football still means a lot to you doesn't it?
DS: My years at Bethanga were probably the best of my life. I reckon I've stayed at most peoples' places out there like the Woods, Mitchells, Browns, Stars and Retallicks. I've met some fantastic people who are life-long mates which is the best part of it all.