Darren Cooper was a fearsome sight for opposition forwards when in full-flight for Howlong during the late '90s and early 2000s. Playing without his three front teeth, the solidly built defender had a take no prisoners approach and thrived on the physicality of contested situations. Cooper was a dual premiership player with the Spiders and caught-up with The Border Mail's BRENT GODDE.
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BRENT GODDE: Do you have a nickname?
DARREN COOPER: When I started out at Mulwala it was 'Ticker' after my old man but when I moved to Corowa in the early 1990s it was just 'Coop's'.
BG: You played all your junior football at Mulwala?
DC: I made my senior debut in 1992 as an 18-year-old under coach Peter 'Steak' Seymour. I only played three senior matches. I remember Jerilderie had the Motlop brothers playing and won the flag.
BG: The following season you joined Tungamah?
DC: Graeme Giggins won the league medal at Mulwala in 1992 and took the coaching position at Tungamah. I followed him because I wanted to get more senior opportunities.
BG: You had to face the Mulwala board to gain a clearance?
DC: The board queried my motives for leaving after my father, Bernard, played more than 400 matches, mainly for Mulwala. I just said I wanted to play seniors on a regular basis.
BG: The following season in 1994 you joined the Coreen Swans in the now defunct Coreen league?
DC: Culcairn legend Gordon 'Froggy' Finlayson was coach but the players weren't a fan of 'Froggy', so we got him sacked. I was one of the instigators.
BG: Was there one incident in particular that led to 'Froggy's' demise?
DC: There used to be the Lightning Cup at Daysdale over the pre-season where Oaklands, Daysdale, Buraja and Coreen would play each other in a round robin format.
BG: 'Froggy' had a rigorous pre-match routine?
DC: It was 35 degrees and 'Froggy' had us running laps, doing push ups and sit ups while the other match was being played. A few of the older blokes like Mark Smith weren't happy and said 'who is this peanut, he is going to kill us before we even get out there.'
BG: How long before 'Froggy' got the sack?
DC: I can't remember exactly when he was shown the door but we were happy to see the back of him.
BG: Why did you originally sign for Coreen?
DC: The great man 'Darkie' Collins signed me up. 'Darkie' drove one of the council's rollers from Rennie to Mulwala to meet me and convinced me to leave Tungamah and join Coreen.
BG: That's a 50km round trip on a roller. How long did that take 'Darkie'?
DC: 'Darkie' often tells the story in the Corowa pub that the roller does 15km/h at top speed and it took him two hours to get there, that he spoke to me for an hour and then two hours to get back to Rennie.
BG: You were living with your grandmother in Mulwala at the time?
DC: I remember Nan said to me there is some strange bloke at the door that just pulled up on a roller and he wants to speak to you.
BG: Do you remember what 'Darkie' said to you?
DC: I got to the door and he says 'My name's 'Darkie' and I want you to play for Coreen next year.'
BG: The following season in 1995 you joined Rutherglen in the Ovens and King league?
DC: We were fairly ordinary and one match against North Wangaratta we didn't even score. That was one of the darkest days of my career.
BG: Rutherglen landed a prized recruit the following year in 1996?
DC: They signed Tony Gayfer who I rate as one of the best players I've ever seen in the bush. Rod Milthorpe and Ray Robins also played that year.
BG: It sparked a stunning turnaround?
DC: We went from the wooden spoon to playing finals.
BG: Rutherglen made it to the preliminary final?
DC: I missed out on playing due to injury. Ralph Aalbers who was coaching Chiltern took my knee out and I snapped all the ligaments in my ankle the previous week in the second semi-final.
BG: The following season in 1997 you joined Corowa-Rutherglen on match permits?
DC: I played one reserves match and then one senior match. I pulled the pin after that because we got flogged. Mark O'Donoghue was the coach and I thought they trained too hard as well.
BG: You had to be a lot more disciplined with your pre-match routine in the O&M?
DC: That's another reason I left. I went to get a beer one Thursday night after training and the bloke behind the bar knocked my back and said 'players aren't allowed to drink on a Thursday night.'
BG: You didn't want to go back to Rutherglen?
DC: I wasn't interested in playing for Rutherglen again.
BG: You end up joining Howlong?
DC: My wife, Alison, is from Howlong. I went to watch the Spiders play one weekend and ended up back at the pub.
BG: 'Ribs' Doolan could sense an opportunity?
DC: I got speaking to 'Ribs' and he convinced me to play for Howlong. He rang Rutherglen officials from the pub that night at 10pm and convinced them to clear me.
BG: How many players did you know at Howlong?
DC: I watched one match before I played and I literally didn't know any of the players.
BG: You thought you would slot straight into centre half-back?
DC: We were having a few beers around the fire after training one night and someone asked me where I wanted to play and I said 'I'll be playing centre half-back.'
BG: Everyone looked at you a bit strange?
DC: Somebody said 'Dennis is centre half-back' and I wasn't being smart and said 'Who's Dennis?'
BG: You previously hadn't heard of Dennis Sandral?
DC: I hadn't and I'm not lying. Somebody said to me 'you must have been living under a rock if you have never heard of Dennis Sandral.'
BG: You still wanted to play centre half-back?
DC: I just said 'I'll take his spot' which looking back was a bit naive.
BG: You played fullback?
DC: Playing fullback I had front row seats watching Dennis play and used to marvel how he would use his body in one-on-one contests. It was great to watch.
BG: Sandral was an inspirational coach?
DC: Dennis led by example and was one of the most courageous players I have seen.
BG: Addressing the players wasn't Sandral's strong suit?
DC: Dennis was a man of few words and would let his actions speak for him. Jeff 'Movies' Chandler was assistant coach and would always be yapping at the huddles.
BG: Howlong were 1-6 by the time you played your first match?
DC: Glenn Cannon and myself joined the Spiders mid-season and we got on a bit of a roll. We didn't lose another match all season.
BG: You just scraped into the finals which was a top-four back in that era?
DC: We obviously went on to win the flag that season which was made even sweeter being the club's centenary year.
BG: You like reminding your team-mates why they won the flag that season?
DC: When we have our premiership reunions and after I've had a few I like to yell out to the boys 'If it wasn't for 'Canno' and me you blokes wouldn't have won it you know.' It's a bit naive but I love the reaction.
BG: How did the finals series unfold?
DC: We played against Lockhart in the elimination final and I forget the full-forward's name but he kicked five goals on me in the first-half and we were six goals down at the main break.
BG: How did you turn things around?
DC: I just started intimidating him physically and mentally. I kept bumping him off the ball and said a few things that I probably shouldn't have. Anyhow he went to water and history says we won by three points.
BG: Intimidating your opponent was a big part of your repertoire as a defender?
DC: I used to give them a bit of lip. I'd often take a swig of the water bottle and spit it in my opponent's face.
BG: How many times would you have spat water in your opponent's face?
DC: Quite a few times. Nobody remonstrated with me, so I kept doing it. Looking back it's not my proudest moment.
BG: It's a tactic you used on Glenn Bench in the 1997 grand final against Osborne?
DC: Bench was the leading goalkicker in the competition and Dennis said I was to play on him wherever he lined up.
BG: Bench surprisingly started on a wing?
DC: Before the first bounce Bench went to shake my hand but I spat water in his face and we had a bit of a wrestle. Anyhow, I accidentally scratched his eye and he was bleeding. The umpire gave him two 15m penalties and he kicked the first goal before the ball was even bounced.
BG: How many did Bench kick on you in the decider?
DC: Just the one.
BG: It was a low-scoring grand final with Howlong winning 10 goals to eight?
DC: We were a couple of goals up at quarter time and it started raining which turned the match into a real slogfest which probably suited us the most.
BG: The 1997 preliminary final against Walla was also memorable?
DC: It was the final where Dennis wiped out Ray Mack.
BG: I remember watching the incident. It was a massive hit?
DC: Ray was going for a mark and got cleaned up by Dennis. Ray spun around in the air that many times he must have thought he was on a merry go round. I can't believe Ray came back onto the ground after it which had me shaking my head in disbelief at the time.
BG: You did something similar to Hayden Gleeson a few years later?
DC: I know it's courageous but I used to hate when forwards ran back with the flight of the ball.
BG: You warned Gleeson not to do it?
DC: As Hayden started running back with the flight I yelled out 'don't you dare' and as we flew for the mark elbowed him in the mouth and knocked out his front tooth.
BG: What happened after that?
DC: At quarter-time some of the Osborne supporters came onto the ground with a glass of milk and were trying to find Hayden's tooth.
BG: Did they find it?
DC: I'm pretty sure they did. I remember next time I saw him I asked him how his fang was and he just smiled at me and pointed to it.
BG: You missed a final because of the incident?
DC: It wasn't through suspension. My elbow blew up like a balloon after it because it became infected. I had to take two weeks off work and missed the first week of finals.
BG: Speaking of fangs, you used to play with three of your front teeth missing?
DC: I got them knocked out when I was at Mulwala as an 18-year-old.
BG: Do you feel having three teeth missing added to your intimidation factor?
DC: No doubt my opponents would have thought 'who is this lunatic with no front teeth.' I used to have the mullet as well.
BG: How were the 1997 grand final celebrations?
DC: On the Sunday we went to the pub and had a competition. We hooked the tap up to the keg and it was basically put the tap in your mouth and see how long you could scull for.
BG: How did you go?
DC: It was Sunday afternoon and we had been drinking all day. Anyhow I went for 12 seconds which I thought was impressive. Benny Cain beat me though when he went for 16 seconds.
BG: Who won?
DC: Big Gary Ziebell went for 22 seconds which is a fair lick. We worked out later that it is well over one litre of beer. I rate Gary as a machine and it was unbelievable to see.
BG: The players also had an arm wrestling competition?
DC: Gary won that as well. Zieb's was the man, best drinker and best arm wrestler.
BG: The 1997 premiership reunion in 2017 turned out to be a big night.
DC: I remember on the Friday night, Gary, Glenn Cannon and myself finished up drinking at Jason Kohn's place at 5am in the morning.
BG: That's a fair lick
DC: I went home, had four hours sleep and then had to umpire the fourths on the Saturday morning because my son was playing.
BG: Not ideal, umpiring with a hangover?
DC: As I walking off Gary and 'Canno' handed me a beer and we got back into it. It was only 11am.
BG: In 1999 you joined CDU for one season?
DC: That's because 'Darkie' Collins used to hassle me every year. The bloke was relentless and finally wore me down.
BG: Your wife, Alison, is not 'Darkie's' biggest fan?
DC: 'Darkie' used to ring the home phone and the missus would say to me 'It's 'Darkie' on the phone for the millionth time, I'm sick of that serial pest ringing all the time.'
BG: Did you get paid much at CDU?
DC: 'Darkie' offered me a bit more than I was getting at Howlong and my payments paid for my honeymoon to Bali that year. But I loved my time at the club and they are fantastic people.
BG: Robbie West also played for Howlong after a stint at West Coast and Footscray?
DC: I think it was in 2001 but Stephen 'Buckets' Clarke absolutely smashed him with a ripping hip and shoulder.
BG: You didn't know who Robbie West was when he first arrived at the club?
DC: Vinnie Glass was coaching and Robbie turned up to training one night in his ugg boots looking to speak to Vinnie and I said 'who are you mate?' I soon found out he could play a bit.
BG: It's fair to say your Spider team-mate Ben Cain was a loose cannon?
DC: Benny could be loose but he was inspirational with his attack on the ball and was a very intimidating player.
BG: Did Cain suffer from white line fever?
DC: There is no doubt about that but so did I if I'm being honest.
BG: Cain missed the 2000 decider through suspension?
DC: It took the gloss off one of the most thrilling wins I've been associated with.
BG: You beat Osborne by one point in the second semi-final at Henty?
DC: Scores were level at full-time, then we had five minutes each way and scores were level. Then we had five minutes each way again and scores were still level.
BG: It went to golden point where the first team to score won?
DC: Jamie Macri kicked a point to put us into the decider in a pulsating win.
BG: Cain was cited and suspended for two weeks for an unsavoury incident?
DC: Benny originally got two weeks but Howlong appealed the decision and it was reduced to one week but he still missed the grand final.
BG: Osborne flogged Howlong by 80 points in the decider.
DC: They did and obviously Benny wouldn't have made much of a difference in the end.
BG: Cain addressed the players before the grand final?
DC: I remember Benny before the game saying 'get out there and smash those blokes.'
BG: Glass changed the culture of the club when he first arrived as coach in 2001?
DC: Vinnie said Howlong has a reputation for being thugs and he was going to change that. Looking back the supporters did egg us on a fair bit when there was a scrap.
BG: You rate Glass highly as a coach?
DC: I rate Vinnie as the best coach I played under. He changed the culture, his training was fanatical and I reckon we trained as hard as most O&M clubs in 2002.
BG: You got sent off during the 2000 grand final?
DC: Somebody on the Osborne bench said something as I was walking off and I lost the plot.
BG: Was it a regrettable incident?
DC: Undoubtedly, my language was over the top and I remember a few people in the crowd getting into me for swearing like I did when there were kids watching.
BG: It could have gotten a lot uglier?
DC: I did want to belt someone from Osborne but nobody would have a go. A few of the Howlong supporters took me into the changerooms so I didn't do anything I may have regretted.
BG: What triggered your anger?
DC: I was fuming how Osborne cited Benny and thought since we couldn't win the grand final I would seek a bit of revenge.
BG: What was it like having two firebrands like Benny and yourself on the same side?
DC: We used to butt heads a little bit but not too much. I loved playing alongside him.
BG: You didn't see eye to eye with Jamie Macri when he was assistant coach in 2000?
DC: About round three that season we all went round to Jamie's place for a few more beers when the pub shut.
BG: You told Macri a few home truths?
DC: I told him to his face that I thought he was a lazy forward that wouldn't chase and if he didn't change he was useless for the team.
BG: How did Macri cope with the criticism?
DC: To his credit, Jamie took it on board and you could see the change in attitude the following week.
BG: Macri ended up kicking 100 goals for the season?
DC: I found out a few weeks later that he was a Golden Gloves boxer, so I was probably lucky I didn't cop a flogging that night.
BG: One of the Osborne players wasn't so lucky in the grand final?
DC: One of them ended up with a broken jaw from memory.
BG: Cain and Anthony Ross dominated in the 2002 grand final when the Spiders won by four goals?
DC: Benny kicked six and won the Des Kennedy medal and alongside Rossy was instrumental in the victory. Rossy won the Azzi medal that season.
BG: During the 2002 celebrations you introduced the 'shoey' where you would scull drinks from your shoe?
DC: I'm the man that started the 'shoey'. I had a pair of gold shoes that we all drank out of.
BG: How did it all start?
DC: I was wearing them on the Sunday after the grand final and I think the premiership cup got damaged. So I took my shoe off and filled it up with port and sculled it. We all took turns including the president, Peter Morris.
BG: You relived the memory at the 10-year reunion.
DC: Someone at the reunion said 'where's the shoey?' So I went home and got the original gold shoes that were in my shed and tipped the mice sh*t out and tipped the port in and started drinking it.
BG: Have you still got the gold shoes?
DC: One is in the trophy cabinet in the clubrooms and the other is in my shed at home.
BG: Howlong and Osborne contested a lot of finals during the late 90s and early 2000s, how would you describe the rivalry?
DC: I hated the pr**ks mainly because of their success. It used to motivate me as a player to do the utmost I could to try and beat them.
BG: Osborne coach Craig Smith tore you to shreds one match?
DC: I just remember thinking to myself, this guy played AFL and now he is at Osborne. How much would he be getting paid? But good luck to Osborne.
BG: Osborne tried to recruit Ben Cain in the early 2000s?
DC: To my knowledge they offered Benny $700 a match but he knocked it back. I'm not 100 percent that's factual but I'm pretty sure it is.
BG: Is there any particular player at Osborne you loved to hate?
DC: Not really, I hated all of them.
BG: You played a bit alongside your brother Troy who is 10 years younger than you?
DC: Troy started playing for the Spiders in 2001.
BG: You rate playing alongside your brother in the 2002 flag as one of your highlights?
DC: Being captain and having my brother in the side is the biggest highlight of my career.
BG: It's fair to say your brother didn't mind raising the elbow?
DC: Yes, Troy was an elbow man.
BG: Troy used to instigate a few fights with the opposition?
DC: In 2002 Troy started an all-in-brawl against Lockhart in the forward line. I ran down from the backline and cleaned up one bloke and got sent off. It was about round 12 and that was the only match we lost for the year. Vinnie wasn't very happy with me that day.
BG: Troy boasts an unbelievable highlights reel?
DC: Troy was an excitement machine to watch. Some of his hangers were unbelievable. His kicking let him down a bit because he was running too fast and I saw him kick quite a few helicopter goals.
BG: You have got a favourite memory of your brother?
DC: It was against Osborne at Osborne and Adam 'Spear' Vardy got a free kick in the centre of the ground. Troy ran behind him and yelled out 'Spear, Spear' and he thought it was one of his team-mates and handballed it to Troy.
BG: No doubt funny to watch?
DC: It gets better. Troy took off down the centre of the ground, took two bounces and slotted the goal. I loved every second of it, especially because it was against Osborne.
BG: You missed out on going on the footy trip in 2002?
DC: I wasn't allowed to because of what I did in 1998.
BG: What did you do in 1998?
DC: Alison didn't want me to go on the footy trip so on the Friday morning I told her I was going to get the paper. I didn't come back for three days.
BG: You went on the footy trip without telling your wife?
DC: I knew what time the boys were leaving on the Friday so I got a shopping bag and packed three pairs of socks and jocks and jumped on the bus. I had to borrow clothes for the three days I was gone.
BG: How did your wife react when you got home?
DC: It's fair to say she was fuming and I nearly ended up divorced and hence why I didn't go on the trip away in 2002.
BG: Most of the players got their heads shaved during the 1997 flag celebrations?
DC: I was one of the few who didn't because I was scared what Alison would think.
BG: Your team-mates stitched you during the 2002 celebrations?
DC: They got the clippers out and I got my head shaved first. Then none of my other team-mates got their heads shaved as payback.
BG: You missed the 2002 premiership photo after the match?
DC: I was captain and when The Border Mail photographer took the photo I must have been somewhere else. I'm spewing I missed out.
BG: You could only play every second weekend for a lot of your career due to your job at Uncle Tobys.
DC: I had to work every second weekend. When we were playing the good sides like Osborne, Lockhart and Culcairn, I would try and get a RDO if I didn't have the weekend off.
BG: You had to do shift work as well?
DC: One match against Lockhart I worked from 7pm on the Friday and finished at 7am on the Saturday morning and went home and had three hours sleep. I then played at Lockhart and then had to start another 12 hour shift at 7pm on Saturday night.
BG: How many matches did you play at Howlong?
DC: It took me seven years to play 100 matches because of my work commitments.
BG: Did you consider yourself a dirty player?
DC: Not really but I did punch Culcairn's Andrew Robertson in the ribs one match after he kicked a few goals on me. I don't know how he didn't collapse.
BG: How did Robertson react?
DC: He just looked at me and said 'you can't do that you dirty pr*ck.' I just said 'well stop taking marks and kicking goals on me and I will.'
BG: In the 2006 decider there was a streaker in the final-quarter who was also a Howlong supporter?
DC: We were winning by three goals and there was 13 minutes left to play and Scott Brunnenmeyer decided to do a streak.
BG: It proved costly for the Spiders?
DC: Darren Howard kicked two goals in a couple of minutes afterwards and there was less than a kick in it.
BG: You then got pushed into the square at the centre bounce and gave away a free kick?
DC: I went off my nut because he pushed me and then I cleaned someone up and cost us a goal.
BG: Howlong ended up losing by two goals?
DC: I quit playing after that and the loss still haunts me a bit.
BG: Losing that grand final is your biggest regret?
DC: It is, it would have been sweet to go out on the ultimate high.
BG: Were you fuming with Brunnenmeyer?
DC: Personally I was and I wanted to fight him that night. I later found out that he could box a bit so I'm probably glad that I didn't.
BG: Did many other clubs chased you?
DC: Walbundrie had a fair crack when Shane Tanner, Troy Dight and Troy Taylor went there. But I was living in Howlong and thought I would get shot if I went to another Hume league club.
BG: You don't own a mobile phone?
DC: I had one for a while but my missus called me six times in one hour one day when I was ferreting so I threw it in the dam. I haven't had another phone since then.
