Zach Murray shares the psychological impact of his time away playing on the European Tour

The 24-year-old professional played seven events in the UK, Spain and Portugal but his outdoor leisure time was effectively limited to the walk from one pin to the next tee.

Murray was otherwise confined to his hotel room as organisers battled to keep the players safe amid rising infections.

"It was super isolating," he admitted. "I really struggled to just feel normal.

"My outlet is getting out and seeing things, getting involved in the community where I am for that week, to take my mind off the golf.

"I think a lot about how I've played and how the next day might go so being locked in my room, I didn't have any time out.

"There were restaurants in the hotel but when someone got COVID, you were bound to room service. If you're playing good golf, it makes it easier but I was struggling and it was really hard to hit the reset button.

"I came back to Australia feeling a bit rattled. It certainly drained the confidence and there were a few things that transpired. It took a big toll on the mental side of things and it's taken six months for me to feel like life's normal again.

"Spending three months in a hotel, you spend a lot of time in your own mind and it's taken a while to get back in the present."

It was the more mundane daily tasks which gave Murray an idea of exactly what he was facing.

"I was over-analysing everything on the golf course and that started to transpire into stuff off the course," he explained. "I was struggling just doing normal day-to-day things when I got back to Australia.

"Even just going to the supermarket, I wasn't feeling myself because I hadn't done it in months. Because going to the supermarket is such a normal thing and had never created too much anxiety for me, I really started to question what was going on.

"That translated into struggling on the golf course at the start of the year. I was playing well and competing but I was super anxious and wasn't really enjoying it.

"I had that churn in my guts all the time. It affected my energy and mental capacity to function at my best.

"Yes, I had a couple of top-10s and wasn't far away from winning a couple but I was exhausted at the end of the week because I was just trying to get around. I was feeling pretty average because I was in that fight-or-flight mode the whole time.

"I was uncomfortable and didn't feel myself.

"It's probably a good thing I've had the time to learn about what's going on with me. In the mental health space, there's no secret to it all, you've just got to accept it and not fight it otherwise it will continue to linger.

"It's been a slow process of embracing it and trying to get back to somewhat normality.

"The challenge of being in lockdown was pretty hard to comprehend at first. I just didn't know what life looked like. I'm so routine-based that I got flustered by not having structure.

"But I said to myself 'this is another challenge, as much as you want it to end, the only way out is to accept it.' It takes time to learn how to do that, to embrace it and find outlets.

"For me, that's going down to the basketball court for half an hour or hitting a few balls down at the paddock. You find that comfortability again and that brings confidence into your life so you can draw on those experiences when you are struggling.

"But it's been really tough."

Murray reached out to a Melbourne psychologist and those sessions are helping him make sense of the ongoing challenges.

"I've always been really big into the mental side of it," he said. "I've always had a little bit of anxiety around a few things in life but at the crux of it, not having constant structure and a purpose at the moment is affecting a lot of people.

"I don't know when my next tournament is going to be, I don't know what tomorrow looks like. Uncertainty creates a bit of a sick feeling and it's trying to manage that and get an understanding of how I function.

"I've been like that as a kid, without going too deep into it, that's just how I am.

"But what might feel like my biggest weakness is also my biggest strength. I'm able to think my way through things on the course potentially a little bit better than others and be able to manage myself when I'm in the lead of a tournament.

"When I've got the nerves and adrenaline pumping, I'm able to manage that because I'm used to being a bit on edge and a bit anxious.

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"That's one thing that's really helped me, understanding that yes, there are some rough times but those rough times make the good times a hell of a lot better."

Murray has retained his Tour card despite his decision not to go overseas this year.

"At the time I was going to go over there, March or April, COVID was running pretty rampant," he said. "Coming home (to Australia) is as difficult as it's ever been at the moment and I didn't want to get stuck over there.

"It created a lot of anxiety around going back so I just decided not to go.

"I love watching the golf on TV, I watch it non-stop. I've been watching a lot of the European Tour, even though it kills me to watch it sometimes.

"I watch it purely to get knowledge for next year on the courses I'll have to play. I find it tough watching it sometimes because I wish I was there but I make notes for when I'm over there next year.

"I think everyone was hopeful this year was going to be a lot better but, deep down, I knew that until the majority of the population was vaccinated, things weren't going to be the same.

"In the back of my mind, I was always reluctant to go back unless there was a bit more freedom which, at the time I was going to go, there wasn't.

"It's opened up a lot more over there now and it's basically back to normal if you're vaccinated on Tour, depending on the country you're in."

The mental challenges remain for Murray but his ability to recognise and understand them has him in good stead for 2022, on and off the golf course.

"It's tiring work but it's no different from building your body up physically in the gym," he said.

"It's hard work but once you get to a point where you've got that foundation, it's a lot easier. It's just about trying to remain positive.

"I'm lucky that I can relate a lot back to my golf and go 'yeah, there were some tough times but I put in a good bit of hard work there.'

"I'm lucky that I've got unbelievable support around me because when you're dealing with stuff like this, support is huge.

"I want to go out and see stuff when I'm playing abroad. It doesn't distract me because I've learnt that's how I like to live, by doing things outside of my golf.

"Going to the supermarket was really hard at one stage and now it's not, so things are on the up.

"If reading this makes one person feel better about themselves, that's the reason I've been honest and shared my story.

"Remember, things do get better."

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