Jarryd Hatton reflects on the loss of loved ones and how he pulled through the darkest days

The talented sportsman was in a relationship with nurse Jessica McLennan, the pair living with Hatton's parents and McLennan had recently started working in the emergency department at Wangaratta.

But after leaving home on June 1, 2016, she never returned.

"Nurses are very special people and Jess was a very caring and loving person," Hatton told The Border Mail Sport Podcast. "She was a massive part of the Rutherglen community, given that she played netball for the Cats and coached the juniors.

"She was killed on the way to work for a day shift in a three-way accident, hit head-on after the first car was veered off into the paddock, 70 or 80 metres.

"It was very tough and I actually had to contact her Mum, Vicki, to inform her about the tragedy.

"I was out on the farm at Rivalea, in the modules, and had my phone on me for some reason. I just carried it that day, it's so weird.

"Normally I got a text from her before I went to work but I didn't get a text so I was just like, OK, I'll carry it just in case something's happened but she's probably got to work and there's been an emergency which is all part and parcel of being a nurse, you don't get to stop sometimes.

"Then I got a hint of reception and my phone went berserk.

"I got all these messages and the first one was from my good mate, Jake Turton. It's still in my memory like it was yesterday. He said 'she'll be right, mate, she'll get through this' and I was like, 'what's happened?'

"I had so many missed calls so I called Kara Renshaw, a really good family friend and pretty much a big sister to me.

"It was pretty daunting to hear that Jess had been flown to Melbourne from a car accident."

McLennan spent three days in the Royal Melbourne Hospital but died on June 4.

Hatton recalls how his Rutherglen football coach, Karl Jacka, came alongside him in the immediate aftermath.

"Karl played that big brother role, he was my rock," Hatton said.

"I was on the phone to him from the emergency department on the day they were playing against Dederang-Mt Beauty.

"I was with my family and Jess' family, saying goodbye, and I broke the news they were turning the machine off.

"That was a tough decision and Karl was my first point of contact. I said 'look, mate, she's not going to make it, I want the boys to play' so they played and the boys got up.

"I remember, on the way back, getting a photo sent to me and credit to the Dederang-Mount Beauty footy club and the people in charge up there, another close-knit community, because they formed a circle, all together, and broke the news.

"I was on the way back to Rutherglen and all the boys were pretty keen to get around me so I had a shower and they all came up.

"I answered the door and Karl had a box of beers on his shoulder. He just gave me a big cuddle and said 'we're going to get through this.'

"We kicked on to a decent hour in the morning and everyone was still there, reflecting on the type of person Jess was."

But just weeks later, Jacka was diagnosed with stomach cancer.

"He kept coaching and then he got this illness, so instead of him looking after me, I thought I'd better look after him," Hatton said.

"I was off work and well-supported by my family so I was able to get my head right. I was often up seeing him, Cristy and Lucy and it was pretty horrible, to be honest, seeing the way he went out.

"Fortunately enough, he was able to get a bit of footage and speak and we'd often get a kick up the arse at training via a video message. We played a final against Chiltern and the big fella couldn't be there, so we got this video message and Archie Jones, a life member at Rutherglen, got it up before the game.

"It was one of the most powerful things I've ever been part of and seen. You're going out to play a game of footy and trying to get in the battle but I don't think there was a dry eye in the house before we ran out.

"Karl had a huge impact on that club and he will forever."

Dealing with the loss of two loved ones hit Hatton hard.

"I thought I was a bad omen," he admitted.

"It was a tricky time and I just wanted to get away.

"Counselling was offered but I didn't want to go at first, I didn't think I needed that. Mum really pushed for it though.

"I didn't sleep in my bedroom for two or three months, I was out by the fireplace.

"I couldn't go in there, I was grieving, but I finally went into my room and I just broke down. It came from nowhere, all of this emotion just oozed out of me and it felt really good but it made me realise I needed help.

"Going to counselling was the best thing I ever did, a lady by the name of Jackie, amazing woman and we'd just catch up. It was like we'd been best mates for 20 years, we'd have a coffee and chew the fat.

"Sometimes we wouldn't even talk about the accident, I'd just vent and she'd ride along and check in with my feelings.

"She really helped me and I can't thank her enough."

Hatton took a big stride forward when he met Georgia-May Tighe. The pair are now engaged.

"She'd just come out of a long relationship too so we gave it a bit of time and space," Hatton said.

"We chilled out and got to know each other a bit more. She's got a great family and they're a really good support network for me.

"We were together while the court case was going on, because it was some time later, and it's a testament to Vicki and Wayne McLennan (Jess' parents) that they really encouraged it.

"That just goes to show the type of people they are, and not to live in a time-warp, because it can get pretty tricky with your mindset.

"You can often get held back so I was very fortunate to have those type of people encouraging me to do that."

Hatton revealed how cricketing connections in England also played a key role in the months after losing Jess.

"I was contacted by a guy called Michael Blatherwick, just before Christmas," Hatton said. "He wanted to put his arm around me and get me over there to play cricket for a season.

"I couldn't say 'yes' quick enough. I couldn't wait and I was really encouraged by my family and my mates to do so but I probably rushed into the decision. I was a bit naive, thinking I was going to go over there and everything was going to fix itself.

"To this day, I feel like I let Michael and Papplewick and Linby Cricket Club down by coming home early. I didn't look after myself that well, I hit the drink pretty hard and I was quite lonely.

"I worked casually, did landscaping and mowed lawns but I just wasn't in a good head space. I was depressed, the court case was coming up when I got home and I was alone, trying to write witness statements in a country on the other side of the world.

"I couldn't sustain it, it was way too hard. I'm not one to shy away from a challenge and I would love to have stayed there and given my all on the cricket field but the timing just wasn't right. You've got to look after your mental health and when it got to that stage, I spoke to my parents and my mates and they were in full support of me coming home.

"It's something I really regret, not staying, but it's also something I'm very thankful for.

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"My relationship with Georgia really kicked off after that and I'm so lucky to have someone like her in my life.

"It's tough but I talk about it openly now. That's from great support in the McLennans, my family and from Georgia. She encourages me to speak about it because if I hold onto it, like anyone, it gets on top of you and then you're battling a few demons.

"When I speak about Jess, I'm doing it in honour of her and she would do that for anyone else. I feel really proud when I do it."

Hatton was also faced with sporting disappointment when injury stopped him abruptly in his tracks after being picked up by Sydney club Eastern Suburbs.

"I went on their pre-season tour to Dubbo, felt like I had to prove a point and I bowled really well - but then my back went on me," he said.

"It definitely cost me a good start in Sydney, to get my foot in the door and it still gets to me to this day, not being able to play up there and prove myself.

"It was a really frustrating time. The sports doctor reviewed my scans and told me I wouldn't bowl again. That really sunk the ship, when I heard that, but it also flared up that determination to get back on the park.

"The timing was right to come back home but it was hard to let go. I still have trouble letting go of that chance of playing in Sydney because I thought I was a good chance of playing consistent first grade but it wasn't to be.

"I know it's just a game but it does hurt. That's the way it goes, I suppose."

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