NOW you can get strawberries delivered to your doorstep with your coffee beans. Beechworth Berries at that.
Subscribe now for unlimited access.
or signup to continue reading
You can get gin and tonic transported to your porch or pre-batch cocktails shipped in the mail; shaken not stirred, I presume!
At the weekend I got makeup sent out with my fruit and veggie box.
Blush with my beets, so to speak!
In theory, you could almost opt out of the foundation facade except for the fact that more people than ever before are now popping into our homes - virtually.
With Google Hangout for news conferences, Zoom platform for barre (someone tell ScoMo it's pronounced "bar" not "baret") classes, Messenger Video and FaceTime for family chats and Houseparty for hanging out with friends in a COVID-19 world, every day brings more chances to hook up.
Our girls have long been knocking around with their friends in this way to do homework or simply catch up.
I know when going into their bedrooms, to A) be properly dressed and B) check who is online before launching into any tirade.
Oftentimes, there are up to four other girls hanging out with my eldest while my youngest spends a good deal of time joined at the virtual hip with one friend.
If she needs to go to the toilet, there's no need to end the call.
"Here Mum, can you hang with P while I just go to the loo," she says.
"I'll be quick!!"
When my sister-in-law invited me to a Houseparty on the weekend before Easter, I was keen to check out the platform.
Being over 45, it took me 10-plus minutes to download the app and then search her number out in the crowd.
When I did finally lob in their loungeroom via Houseparty, my sister-in-law was colouring-in a puzzle and having a glass of wine while my brother-in-law had three different dishes on the go in the kitchen.
"Sorry I'm late to the party; it's a Gen-X thing!" I say.
"Also I didn't bring anything!!"
IN OTHER CORONAVIRUS NEWS:
A striped Witchery long-sleeve T-shirt I'd struggled to throw away for months despite its tatty hem has been getting two wears a week now. When my youngest pointed out my shirt had a big hole in it I said: "Not on Google Hangout, it doesn't!"
Having chatted about all of the ways we'd been hooking up with family and friends online, it was clear they were experts because their mobile phone was parked and they were getting other stuff done.
They'd used the Google Hangout for Friday afternoon drinks with work colleagues.
My brother-in-law had even been to a wake using the Zoom platform. It went for hours over several beers. He wasn't sure if it was kosher to go to the toilet without signing out and come back later - it reminded me of a seven-hour Christmas lunch in Denmark in 1989 (naps were fine so long as you returned to the dinner table before dessert).
After a tour of the still in their laundry, I left the Houseparty without having had even one drink.
As I was holding my mobile, I couldn't unscrew the lid on the pinot noir sitting on the kitchen bench with one hand to fill a wine glass. Amateur hour, obviously!
When my husband's 20 first cousins hooked up on Zoom on Easter Saturday, I was better prepared; the King Valley dry rose was open and the puzzle on the dining table was within reach.
However, we didn't get the mail about wearing a hat for the online chat, so we felt a bit under-dressed. On the bright side, we were not in our pyjamas.
Workwear has also been re-imagined as we groom anew for Zoom.
My husband's work colleagues think he hasn't changed his clothes since WFH became his new normal but - for the record - he has three black polo tops on rotation!
On Easter Sunday a FaceTime call with my mother-in-law alerted me to the fact I was still wearing bunny ears even though I'd been gardening out the front for 30 minutes.
What a rabbit!
We can also fully appreciate the chance to properly dress only our top halves.
A striped Witchery long-sleeve T-shirt I'd struggled to throw away for months despite its tatty hem has been getting two wears a week now.
When my youngest pointed out my shirt had a big hole in it I said: "Not on Google Hangout, it doesn't!"
So while I'm still wearing foundation, standards are slipping fast!
Our COVID-19 news articles relating to public health and safety are free for anyone to access. However, we depend on subscription revenue to support our journalism. If you are able, please subscribe here. If you are already a subscriber, thank you for your support.
